Life and Me!

Mon Apr 19:

One! Ha-Ha-Ha! One hour of network outage. Two! Ha-Ha-Ha! Two hours of network outage. Three! Ha-Ha-Ha! Three hours of network outage. Four! Ha-Ha-Ha! Four hours of network outage. 🎶 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twe-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-lve. Twelve! 🎶

Rogers has been down all day – the liars are calling it intermittent but it’s not. Call it what it is Rogers! At first, I thought I had lost connection in the subway – I went to the office to pick up my magazines – but even after restarting my phone it didn’t come back – then I learned of the outage. 

The magazines my boss loaned me are absolutely beautiful, just the front cover alone would make me want to buy them. I plan to go through each with a fine-tooth magnifying glass comb. I want to take pictures of everything and trace them – The art is so whimsical and colourful. I love it!

I saw a rifle mounted to a wall with decorations around it – Our CTO is at the ‘rents once again. Isn’t it beautiful, and kinda sad, we take care of our children, then our children take care of us … by sticking us with a buncha strangers in a long-term care facility. “Good riddance mom! Now you’re somebody else’s problem. Bitch!” That’s what André will say to me. Followed by maniacal trailing laughter. He won’t drop me off or even slow down. He’ll just take his right foot and keep kicking me till I open the door to get away. Then he’ll throw my shit out, pause long enough to close the door and keep driving. lol! I’ll get up, dust myself off, pick up my shit and walk into the facility thinking, “Karma’s a motherfucker!” (It ain’t gon stop me from putting you out though).

I forgot to notify the guys that I was going to be in the office today. In my head, I hadn’t planned on staying. I was going to grab my magazines and head home, but I walked with my laptop, just in case there was a subway delay or something and I got to work later than expected. Then I decided to stay until after our exec call! Then surprise! I saw my boss!!! 🙂 Hip! Hip! Hooray! 

OMG!!! Suppose during our reorganizing of the organization, I have to report to someone else – that would suck major sweaty, hairy, ass balls. (I’ll draw that for you one day). That thought just came to me but I am already freaking out! smh. If I have to report to someone new, they better not be a micromanaging douche! Rhino Rage! Hippo Hellfire! (hippos on fire, falling from the sky onto your stupid head) Silverback Gorilla death-grip. That’s what will happen to you if you try to micromanage me. The anti-micro-management trifecta will rain down on your incompetent ass 24/7! Nowhere to go for reprieve.  🎶 Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go Speed Racer! Go!!!! 🎶 (one thing has nothing to do with the other! 🙂 )

On my way to and from work, it felt like my commute was a big waste of time. I was thinking that I could have been at my desk working, instead of wasting two hours but it is good to get outside and walk about with purpose. This morning I had to go under my bathroom sink, put my hand in a hole in the wall and turn on the pipe so I could shower. My faucet is/was busted, the water just kept running, at full force – it was so loud. I called emergency maintenance Sunday morning at like six am. Dude came by and changed the doohickey today. (Dee is playing Brianstorm by Arctic Monkeys – I haven’t listened to them in a long while).

The other day I caught Dee eating a mango with a knife and fork. WTF!!! “Mom! This is so good. Do you want a piece?” She cuts me a slice. I take it and say, “By the way. No self-respecting West Indian eats a mango with a knife and fork.” She starts laughing, “I knew you were going to say something.”

I have until the end of the month to come up with an exec/CEO dashboard – he said if it is manual for now that’s ok. I hate manual unless it’s a car! (I have some learning to drive stories for you) But it is a starting point. I will keep working on it – hoping to have a draft by Thursday so I can get some feedback from my boss – to ensure I am moving in the right direction.

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