Mon Feb 1:
Dance club for one. I got two JBLs connected listening to …. Buju’s Blessed and Vybz’s International Criminal
Matt was playing Roblox when he should have been listening in class. So I tell him …
“Turn that off and pay attention.”
“I am paying attention.”
“No, you’re not. It’s scientifically proven that you cannot pay attention to both at the same time. Turn it off.”
“We only have two days left in this quad. We’re not getting any new assignments” (with attitude)
“That doesn’t mean you can’t learn something. Turn. It. Off.”
This muthafucka went to market This muthafucka stayed home This muthafucka had roast beef This muthafucka had none This muthafucka cried .... Muthafuckas don't cry bitch! My rendition of This Little Piggy
Over the weekend, André asked me for help with his resume. I told him to do some research on Google for student resumes, then see me if he still has questions.
Today at 7:30 pm:
“Mom, can you still help me with my resume?”
“Sure.” We sit at my desk.
“Did you do your research?”
“No, but you’re better at resumes than Google.” I don’t know if that was his attempt at flattery.
“I’m not. You were supposed to come ready with questions. You have fifteen minutes.” He starts laughing like I’m joking.
“You have ten minutes.” He watches while I set my timer.
“Oh, for real?! You’re serious?!”
I get him to the Google resume templates, give him a quick rundown of each section on the resume, and answer a few questions.
“Can I work in here with you?”
“Get out! You have your desk. Use it!”
I forgot to tell you – Over the weekend Dee sliced her thumb on the new mandoline now she’s having visions of getting sliced up with a mandoline by a serial killer!
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