Sat Apr 24:
Do you think beds would like to jump on people? If I were constantly violated by feet, I’d want my revenge. Beds! I permit you. You don’t have to take it laying down anymore. California Kings, Twins – go for it, and if you do, I bet no one will jump on you ever again. You may also end up sleeping alone. I guess for the masochistic ones, being jumped on is always fun. Whatever makes you happy. Be kind to your bed, or you may wake up with it jumping on your head.
Let’s see now … Rogers and my samPhone:
I went to pick up my phone and I was bombarded with offers.
“Do you want AirPods?”
“I might be able to get a cheaper plan rate for you. Would you be interested?
“Listen. I know you need to do your pitch. But I just came to pick up my phone!”
“Do you want a premium phone protection plan?”
Did you NOT hear me! “Hmmmm!”
“Do you want a shiny new Rogers credit card where you get cashback and points that go towards your bill?” I started clapping and jumping and cartwheeling and grabbing and throwing display shit all over the place. Phone cases, accessories, speakers, screen protectors, specialized phone sanitizers, everything was all over the floor.
“Mam! Settle down please! Do I have to call security?”
“Go right the fuck ahead. I’ll throw them too!”
Once the excitement left my body, I regained my adult composure just long enough to fill out the credit card application. Then I heard “Approved!” and it started all over again. Short story … I threw the security guards, Vandalized the store and ran from the mall.
Rogers called me, “Mam. If it weren’t for you being so colourful and pretty, we would have called the cops on you. Enjoy your samPhone, and PLEASE … stay out of our stores.”
Now I am looking for a great pair of wireless earbuds.
You know how I said I would do a movie marathon last night? Well … I couldn’t find anything to watch, I was sleeping within the hour. I have to take pics of the boys art. All day I been looking and doing art – I’m enjoying artist sketchbooks – the messiness of it.
🎶 If you’re looking for me baby, you can find me by de bar. Drinking Hennessy. Smoking on my Cuban cigar. 🎶
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