Tue Mar 02:
Hello – This giving the boys money to buy their food is working out very well. They’ve gone shopping together, and this morning at 7:00 am André came with me to Foodland (doesn’t that sound as if food grows there? Sadly, it doesn’t). Wouldn’t that be neat though, if everything grew on trees – fruits, veggies, sardines (already in the can)! You walk into your local grocer, and it’s like you’re on a farm. You look up, and you can see the summer sky; feel the warmth on your face. Nothing goes bad cause the trees are intelligent. They know just how much to produce, and you cannot take more than you need (if you try, you get a beatdown from the farm police). There are no checkout lines – food is free. You give back by keeping your neighbourhood clean and keeping the grocery store lookin’ fly – cause essentially, it’s a community garden.
(Heavy ass sigh) Anyway, I find that the boys are more considerate; they’re preparing meals for each other and asking before taking. I thought they would eat each other’s food, and everything would devolve into chaos – Kitchen fight every day and night. Could you imagine – lol. Winner eats all. I feel strange; I’m glad it’s going well. This is great for them, but at the same time, I feel unwanted, maybe or like I have to find something else to do with my extra time. I don’t know if unwanted is the right word, and I definitely don’t want to be in the kitchen all the time and go back to feeling underappreciated and overworked at times. I don’t know what this feeling is. I hate when my very own feelings confuse me! How does that make sense!
My head hurts – not cause I’m trying to figure out how I feel; I think it’s something I ate. Time for a proper food elimination diet – Whenever I do this, I always reintroduce the foods all wrong, so I don’t learn anything. smh. “It’s ok Sam! Keep trying till you die … or don’t fail. Whichever comes first.” The food re-introductory part is a challenge because sometimes I don’t feel like eating what’s supposed to be reintroduced on that day or in the quantity required to determine if/how the food affects me.
Me Journal Time: Today it’s a this or that list – Although some of these don’t make sense to me, you have to pick what you prefer; you can’t introduce something else. I’ll put my current preferences in bold. Ready! …
- Hot or Cold (Hot or cold what? Idiot! Assuming it’s the weather)
- Rain or Shine
- Cash or Credit (Now with the ‘VID you don’t have much choice, some places don’t accept cash anymore.)
- Read or Write (This one’s hard for me because I like both equally. I think I do more reading than writing right now)
- Few Close Friends or Tons of Acquaintances (my personality is not suited for acquaintances or close friends for that matter)
- White Gold or Yellow Gold (I really don’t care. Absolutely!)
- Drink or Smoke (No brainer, if he’s talking about smoking cigarettes)
- Laptop or Desktop (Do they even make desktops anymore? Oh, btw Matt asked me to make a gaming computer for him – from scratch. It’s been years and years and years since I’ve done anything like that, but I think it will be fun. I remember when I had my little 3/486s running Red Hat)
- Wheat or White (whole wheat sucks ass – that’s why it tastes so disgusting. One time my ex-boss bought whole wheat or multigrain crust pizza for everyone, wtf. I think his wife or girlfriend, or whatever was trying to get him to eat healthily, so he decided to punish everybody – cause they didn’t all have to be that, some could have been white – He was douchey anyway)
- Optimistic or Pessimistic (I have horrid allergic reactions pessimist – I can feel my throat swelling up and my skin getting itchy. It feels like every inch of my body is tingly and on fire, but I also feel hypothermic at that same time. It’s dreadfully awful! They just emit this neurotoxin, and to my dismay, there’s no EpiPen available).
- Milk or Juice (carbonated water with fresh lemon/lime or soda works best for me)
- Cake or Pie (unless it’s pecan, apple or pumpkin Pie)
- TV or Radio (this depends on my mood and what I’m doing at the moment – like if I’m driving, I can’t watch TV; Or maybe I could)
- Sing or Dance
- Red Wine or White Wine (I like both. My preference would be a sparkling Rosé. I used to love Ice Wine but it’s way too sweet for me now)
- Politics or Religion (picking this option in terms of discussion topic)
- Letters or Email (When was this book written)
- Yesterday or Tomorrow
- Fast or Slow
- Dogs or Cats (back in the day, I would have said cats)
- Internet or Phone (What!?!?!)
- Eat or Sleep (wtf – I want to eat when I’m hungry and sleep when I’m tired stupid!)
- Live Wealthy or Die Remembered (Although I have no control over how I’m remembered, I’m not worried … 🎶 cause I’m fuckin’ awesome, and you already knew that 🎶)
- Vampire or Werewolf (Technically, I’d prefer to be a hybrid like Michael Corvin in Underworld – I can remember his name, but I can’t remember where I put shit. smh)
- Candles or Incense
- Small Tip or Big Tip
- City or Country (I love the city’s convenience and noise. I also like the Country’s quiet scenery but I wouldn’t want to live there – Do you remember Country Mouse and City Mouse stories?)
There are multiple this or that lists in the book – Copywrite 2016. I miss arting 😦 I’ll start again soon). I looking forward to unboxing my new iPad. Did I tell you I want to buy a Japanese puzzle box?
Do you think there’s any one food you could eat for the rest of your life? I can’t – I need variety. BUT, if I must choose, it’d be bacon. Bacon makes me dancy 🙂 If you were a door to door salesperson, would you rather sell shoes or fire extinguishers?
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