Life and Me!

Sat Apr 17:

Peep peep!

I bought a different kind of fish food for my dog (just making sure you’re paying attention 🙂 ). I figure just like me, fish probably get tired of eating the same thing. I am certain this food will taste different from what they eat now – plus I bought freeze-dried blood worms 🤢 and shrimp. I hope they like it.

Yeah so … I am preparing myself for the conversation I am going to have to have with André. On July 4 he will be 18. I believe he won’t do well, as in being self-motivated until he is truly on his own. I plan to put him out on a deadline – I guess that’s not a conversation you should have with someone on their birthday but I have to have it. If “The Talk” doesn’t go down well, I will shift to Plan B – One day he will come home (first I have to get him to go out) and all that will be left in the apartment is his sleeping bag, laptop and PS4 (I’m taking the monitor); and maybe some food. I think it will be fine and good for him – getting shocked into adulthood. That’s what Jeffrey Dahmer’s parents did to him and look how he turned out!  

I don’t believe giving him additional time to get his shit together is warranted – He’s had years already. I see a few similarities in us but so many more differences – I don’t know where my motivation, drive and steely determination comes from, but he didn’t get it. Based on our last IEP school convo, it doesn’t seem like he plans to do anything differently come September. Dee keeps laughing about him living with me forever – but that shit ain’t funny. The other day he asked me to buy him a fridge for his bedroom – My objective is to destabilize his whole world and make him want to leave, knowing him though, he will just retreat to his bedroom. I’m to be free of dependents now. “And the freedom award goes to … … … Miss Independent!”

Free as a Bird by the Beatles is playing as I go up to do accept speech and grab my award “Oh! Thank you! Thank you! It’s been so long I lost count. A great burden has been lifted from me this day.” People start yelling, “What’s next for you?” “Where are you going to go?” What are you going to do?”

I look over the crowd, smile and say, “Well, I did manage to collect my trillions of Vans stickers. I plan to Vandalize the world as I see it!” Everyone starts cheering and screaming. I throw out several bunches of stickers. I take one and stick it to my forehead. The crowd goes wildly crazy. “Thank you. Thank you. I have a plane to catch!” 

I’ll keep you posted on the Boy Get Out talk.

I haven’t been arting lately. It is almost as bad as my non-writing. I have to see what I need to do to change it (aside from not taking my pills). I have an old book lying about someplace with many prompts – I will use that to hopefully get me writing and drawing every day. I go find it now!!!

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