Life and Me!

Fri Jan 1

🎶Ooh la la ah wee wee (Gang Starr). Ooh la la ah wee wee (Run The Jewels) … I say butter, you say Parkay🎶 The music stopped when my speaker died cause I wasn’t paying attention to the lights.

I decided to get myself a gun (jk). For the third time in the last few months, I had another mandoline accident, and it keeps getting worse every time. I lost a good chunk of skin off my pinky finger; Why is this shit so sharp! So … before I lose an arm, I figured I should get one of those ones that has a food guard thingy. The guard between my hand and the blade – Perfecto!!!

My finger was bleeding so much, and Dee offered to pour rubbing alcohol on it – WTF! My children are twisted, and I’m stupid cause I almost went along with it. She was like:

“Oh! I’ll dilute it. It won’t hurt as much! Or we could use vodka!” And my dumb ass was like:

“Ok! let’s do this!” With my bloody finger over the kitchen sink. I can’t remember what made me change my mind. SMH! I was bleeding so much, and it was stinging so bad I almost passed out. Nah! But I was like, “Sorry guys! Can’t cook! I’m disabled!”

I hope this one entry journal book works according to what I envision in my head, or else I’ll be pissed! (lol) Serious! I don’t understand why I need to upgrade to business to get the third party plugin to merge my 2020 Journal Entries – Highway Robbery WordPress!

I don’t know if you can rob somebody on the highway. They’d have to pull over on the shoulder, you’d have to do the same. Then get out of your car, and while you are doing that, they could easily drive away, and everybody passing is gonna see and call the cops! (maybe! or no one will call cause everyone thinks someone else will (there’s a name for that)! You’re on your own!) OR perhaps the cops will rob you – that’s possible! And no one will suspect a thing cause thems cops and cops can do no wrong! Right!

Robbing people on the highway is not a good idea!

So I have a plan … when I feel like eating, I will pick up my iPad and Pencil and draw instead! I’ll keep you posted on how it goes!

If I found myself stranded on a deserted island, I’d wish to have my toothbrush … and my JBL and my Phone and access to Spotify and my iPad and Pencil, and my You Can Draw in 30 Days book, and my Monocle Book of Japan book and all my other books and my cushy bed and my desk with monitor and laptop and my children (God no!)

That reminds me, I still need to learn to swim. When I went to Thailand, one of our tour guides said parents would throw their children in the water when they’re little, with coconut shells for buoyancy, and that’s how they learned to swim. (if I remember correctly). 

Dee said she thinks André will live with me forever! That’s not going to end well; I tell you that right now!!!

I think I’m ready to date, but I will probably change my mind tomorrow or next week or sooner. But I’ve been thinking about dudes and relationships more than usual lately.

André told me he’s celibate. I have no idea why! Boy! That’s some shit you shouldn’t share with your mom! (“selebit!” Thank you for correcting me Google!).

Tomorrow, I am going to update this post by adding a page break and we’ll take it from there!

Life is fabulous AF!

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