Thu Mar 04:
When my last child leaves the nest, I will immediately move into a one bdrm, or studio, so they can’t return home. “Sorry, I have no space for failures!”
Well, well, well. It’s Thursday, and I didn’t do nearly as much writing as I wanted or thought I’d do before my vacation started. I didn’t even wake up with any poems in my head. I was dreaming with my eyes open though – as you know, a Prozac side effect. Leaves were growing out of my extension cord and blowing in the gentle lavender-scented breeze. This is the first time I smelled anything, and my diffuser wasn’t on.
🎶 Slow songs, they for skinny hoes. Can’t move all a this here to one of those. I’m a thick bitch, I need tempo. Fuck it up to the tempo 🎶 – Afternoon zacnap wake-up song courtesy of Lizzo.
“Mom, do you think it’s ok to ask someone what their body count is?”
Staring at André like, What!?!?! I asked, “What’s a body count?” For me, a body count is how many people you’ve murdered. For a minute I was like, Boy! Who are you hanging out with?! My body count is about to be one!
“It means how many people you’ve had sex with!”
“That’s what they’re calling it now! No! It’s not ok! That’s nobody’s business!”
“Right!”
“If you’re concerned with how many people your partner slept with, maybe you shouldn’t have sex with them, even with protection – condoms break. Or you should both go get tested.”
I remember those types of questions, thought they were a thing of the past. I even remember being asked if I was still a virgin. These days I think being a virgin is something that’s almost shameful – you get no props for keeping your virginity. That reminds me – I had a friend in university who was still a virgin.
Did you know that there are STIs in the animal kingdom? Animals can get genital warts, herpes and syphilis. Some STIs could have a common ancestor (that’s not the right term) but the DNA or RNA of the virus can tell you if it’s the same strain (Thanks Jer). Gonorrhoea and syphilis came from animals. You know what this means right? Before we were at the top of the food chain, animals were raping humans – They kept that out of Planet of the Apes. There are lots of things that make us uncomfortable so we don’t address it. Good old talk-a-boo! But just cause you don’t talk about it, doesn’t mean it’s not happening. I can’t remember which animals get what.
Years ago, I read an article that STIs were running rampant in retirement communities out in Florida because the residents only associated condoms with birth control. Since the women were passed that stage, no one thought protection was necessary! So health care people starting teaching folks how to use condoms.
Animals also suffer from mental illnesses, I think mostly brought on on by maltreatment or maybe even just being caged. Did you see Blackfish (2013). I believe (no scientific proof) the more intelligent the animal is, the more likely it will suffer. The other day I learned that people who have videos of the slow loris where they tickle them and they raise their arms, they’re actually torturing the poor creature. Why do we need to possess wild animals?
Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom.
Aristotle (Quote taken from The Me Journal)
Me Journal Time: Now the questions are starting to get interesting.
- What is your lucky number? Hmmm – I don’t think I have one, but the first number that came to mind is seven.
- What is your nickname? Sam, Sammy (my Dad calls me that mostly), Sammy Sosa (my ex still calls me that when we chat). Beast (another name from one of my exes).
- You believe love has more to do with:
- Common interests (Nah. I want my bf to have his own thing(s) and his friends that he hangs with – I think that’s important. We don’t have to spend every waking and sleeping moment together gosh!)
- Physical attraction (Hell yeah! I feel this is most important)
- Timing and maturity (I’m feeling this one too – I’d say these are as important as physical attraction.)
- Dependency needs (that’s not love)
- Which of the seven deadly sins are you most guilty of committing? (I’m gonna rate them – one almost always to four never.)
- Envy (4)
- Pride (4 – I’m full of myself sometimes, but never to the point where it’s damaging to others)
- Gluttony (2 – I was tempted to give this a one as well)
- Sloth (3 – I don’t do personal things promptly. The blood work requisition from last October is still waiting.)
- Greed (4)
- Wrath (1 – you see this in my writing sometimes)
- Lust (4)
- Your current age? 47.
- The age you feel? Anywhere from 2-17 depending on my mood and the day. I can go from toddler curious to teenage angsty and back in the same day.
I once told an ex that I like the idea of having a house with two master bedrooms – we could have sleepovers. He thought that was an awful idea. FYI – I’ve never enjoyed sleeping in the same bed with someone. I don’t get the appeal; it’s like they’re invading my personal space. Why do we have to go to bed at the same time? I don’t want to be on your sleep schedule (what am I? A fuckin’ baby!). We have sex, we cuddle, then someone goes back to their room. Speaking for myself only – As soon as a relationship becomes routine, which I know is normal, it can get boring – you have to switch shit up to keep it interesting.
You should check out https://www.understood.org/
palmsupward.com 
Leave a Reply