Sat Jan 23:
André and I got into an argument this morning. I got out of bed around 2:00 am and noticed the dishes were still piled high in the sink. André was still awake, so I didn’t bother to say anything cause I already reminded him, during our hotpot dinner, that it’s his day to wash, and he acknowledged.
The next time I got out of bed, it was around 7:00 am … AND the dishes are still waiting. Ugh! I give him an hour, then I went into his room and woke him up to wash the dishes – I wasn’t being a dick about it. I gently tapped him and reminded him that it was his day yesterday. I proceed to put away the dishes when he came into the kitchen and started washing. Then he said, “Can you not wake me up for stuff like this.” And the conversation went something like …
“I wouldn’t have to wake you up for stuff like this if you get it done when you’re supposed to!”
“I just forgot.” (oh! That fuckin’ excuse boils my blood!)
“Well … (you fuckin’ douche bag piece of shit!). Don’t forget. I wouldn’t have to wake you up if you did it yesterday (use your alarms bitch). Your sister usually cooks Saturday morning. Nobody wants to wake up to a dirty kitchen (except for you, asshole).”
“I don’t like doing the dishes. Don’t wake me up for stuff like this again.”
“It’s not about what you like; it’s about the people you are making the space clean for. And if you don’t want me to wake you up, the solution is simple; remember to get your chores done! (or you could move the fuck out!)
“I don’t even feel like washing the dishes anymore.” He washed the soap off the dishes he’d started, then he washed his hands and left. This is the defiant side of Chris that most people don’t have to deal with. He’s serial killer sweet and funny and charming until the strike comes!
“Give me your devices.”
“Don’t even think about touching my stuff.” (That’s right. I don’t have to touch your stuff.)
“Let you and I never forget this conversation.”
I went into my Ignite Wifi app and removed his network access, and I also turned off his iPhone data access. I sometimes wonder if I’m too soft on him, which is why he turned out this way. But he’s almost 18, even if I did do something, it’s your life and your choices! Yesterday, Dee told me I shouldn’t have gotten him an Uber. Today, she told me to have him use YouTube for more than just leisure stuff; he can also use it to figure out how to do other things, like sending emails via gmail!
He’s my offspring, and I love him and sometimes we have loads of fun together, but I don’t have to like him and I don’t have to pamper him (anymore, although I don’t feel like I did/do, but Dee and Matt might say otherwise.) I feel the only way he’s going to change is when the real world slaps him upside his stupid head! When his boss fires him or his clients drop him – nobody gives a shit if you forgot, keep your word. I don’t know why that’s so hard for him to understand!
My dad used to say, when we were growing up, “Always judge a person by how they behave when they’re not getting what they want.” Everybody is agreeable when things are going their way. So what’s next … He will get 8 hours of wifi access during the week. From 9:00am to 4:00pm. Nothing on evenings and weekends. How he uses the time during the week is his business, so if he doesn’t get his work done, that’s not my problem.
Big man! When someone else isn’t paying for your essentials, and then some! Let’s see how far your obnoxious attitude and 14$ an hour will get you, you fuck!
Yesterday I said, “You do what works for you.” Today I’m saying … You do what works for you. But be mindful of the people you may inconvenience along the way because it’s not just about you. It never has been!
Sam
Anyway – I decided to wash the dishes. I tackled with the idea for a few minutes, but then I got my perspective right. I’m not doing the dishes for André. I’m doing them for Dee 🙂
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