Life and Me!

Sun Feb 21:

🎶 Ooooh I hear laughter in the rain when walking hand in hand with the one I love. Ooooh how I love the rainy days and the happy way, I feel inside. 🎶 I can’t remember who sang that or the name of the song or if those are the exact words but I don’t feel like looking it up. My evening wake up tune.

I used to hate getting caught in the rain without an umbrella, mainly cause that shit would fuck up my hair. But now … I don’t have to worry and I don’t even need an umbrella. So … If I find the one I love, I’d gladly walk in the rain with him, but I sure as hell don’t want to hear laughter in the rain – That’s some scary effed up shit. I’d take off running, seeking shelter from the rain, leaving my love behind and that would be a whole new song 🙂

🎶 Take this job and flush it, sani-flush it Chlorine clean. 🎶

Do you ever think about the songs you want played at your funeral – I don’t even know if that’s a thing. People talk about wedding songs but I think usually only one song gets played at a funeral or I think with my mom’s we picked a bunch of hymns – maybe three or four. But I want some dancehall and hip hop at my funeral, no pews, dancing room only. Does that mean I can’t have a church service? Doesn’t matter. Since God is omnipresent, I should be able to have my funeral anywhere. And if he’s omniscience then he also knows everything about me, inside and out, so then I should be able to talk to him directly and he already knows all the crazy shit I’ve done and will do.

I went to a Catholic school and I’ve never, ever, ever understood confession. It’s like the things they say about God are contrary to the things you have to do if you believe in God.

One day, many several years ago, Mormons used to ride the TTC looking for new recruits – come to think of it, I haven’t seen any in years. Something else I also don’t understand – If God is omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresent, then he already knows about all the other Gods that people believe in, maybe he even created them. Maybe! AND he already knows everything about everybody, including their beliefs and values. So why do people need to be converted? What is the true purpose of a missionary? And who are you to question my religion? And what is the difference between a religion and a cult? I need to find out – don’t all religions kinda start out as cults …

I know there are some messed up cult leaders out there; which also applies to accepted religious leader. Until they are somehow validated and registered for tax exemption purposes – maybe that’s the difference? Maybe cults are bad and religions are good. That might be too simplistic of an answer, but my gut tells me that’s what it boils down to. I accept that I could be wrong and my mind is open enough to changing as I learn.

I realize I don’t know enough and I have no plans to study theology – I’m just sharing my thoughts, because this stuff doesn’t make sense and the more you question it, the less sense it makes. Anyway … back to my Mormon on the TTC story – I could be misremembering but it went something like this:

I see him coming and already don’t want to talk. I don’t give a shit if you’re holding a bible and wearing a black pin-on name tag on the pocket of your white shirt – stranger danger!!!

“Do you want to have a personal relationship with God?”

“I already do.” He sits down across from me. Not across the aisle but in the tall part of the L shaped seat.

“Let’s talk about it.” He says. Smiling and starting to open his bible.

“It’s personal. I don’t want to talk about it.” He pauses. Looks up from his bible, says something to me then gets up. I might have waved goodbye and smiled.

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