RainbowFire - Journal Entries

Life and Meh – Q2ish

Tue Jun 22

Sorry – I forgot the heading yesterday – If I start talking before I lay everything out, I always end up forgetting something.

I love the first 20 seconds – the rest is just fun watching him dance – there is also the full version video out there if you wanna watch him create.

It was hard for me to focus – I wasn’t sure when the friggin’ moving people were going to call me and I didn’t want to get too deep into anything because if I had to stop, I’d just be salty and by the time I get to the storage place, I’d explode and salt particles will get all over the moving guys, burning their eyes and sucking the moisture out of their bodies, like The Mummy. “That’s what you get for not giving me a window and having me on edge waiting for your illogistical ass all day!” I mostly read while I waited.

The move itself went well enough – Today I learned that movers are like plumbers, they also don’t know how to wear their pants so their ass cracks don’t show. Ugh! Three Ass Cracks and A Truck Movers (and Shakers) I don’t know what made our HR Lady choose them. Maybe she thinks ass cracks are sexy. Them ain’t 🎶 Ass crack Feeva! When you kiss me. Feeva when you hold me tight. Feeva! Can I see that ass crack? All day and night! 🎶 No please!

And don’t even get me started on low ridin’ – “You’re a grown fuckin’ man. pull up your pants for Jesus’ sake. When grown men low ride, is that a sign of immaturity? Like … are my Microburst a sign of my attention span? I regress – lol! I had to buy two boxes and tape and pack shit – AND my clothes got dirty! Those asses didn’t even say thank you! YOU WELCOME MUTHAFUCKAS! PULL UP YOUR PANTS AND TIGHTEN YOUR BELTS! BITCHES! I need to calm down! I wonder if a woman’s butt crack is the same as looking at cleavage for a guy? 🎶 You are so beautiful to me, can’t you see. You’re everything I hope for. Everything I need 🎶

Well … for the record, I don’t want to see anybody’s crack! There was a time when I had to endure seeing women in their thongs and low waist jeans – I hated it. I don’t want to see that shit on the subway or in the grocery store.

My WhatsApp status says Unavailable! Forevermore! Amen! – somebody messaged me and asked if I was ok. “WTF! What part of UNAVAILABLE FOREVERMORE don’t you get! Oh I keep forgetting to share this with you – My boss introduced me to this guy Marc Rebillet – he’s funny and talented – I watched a short interview of him on Vice the other day!

I hate putting links in my journal because I absolutely hate finding broken links but watching him dance is part of the experience!

Our CCO presented on depression during our town hall – I wanted to ask a question but I didn’t cause then people might look at me differently and I don’t want that. Sometimes, it’s confusing because I pretty sure I am not depressed, at least not more than usual but the symptoms he talks about watching for that’s me, insomnia, headaches and stomach aches, lost of interest in things.

I still have lots of things I’m interested in and my interests changes. (changing interest is different from lost of interest right?) I am interested in my work and movies and music and writing and arting and stuff. And solving jigsaw puzzles and nonograms. And I like being alone but I’m not lonely. “Alone! You can’t handle alone! That’s a euphemism for lonely!” Said dude from A Few Good Men! OMG maybe I don’t know what lonely is! 🎶 Lonely won’t leave me alone. Why tell me why, lonely won’t let me fall in love. Everywhere I go, always by my side, lonely won’t let me fall in love. 🎶 (I feel like I sang this song to you already – but it is also appropriate now). This is me second guessing myself again, in light of renewed information! God! Even I annoy me!

I am looking forward to the last quarter – I’ll be neck deep in PMI shit!

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