RainbowFire - Journal Entries

Life and Meh – Q2ish

Tue Jun 15:

Woke up at 2:48 am, knowing almost exactly what I wanted my quadrille to say. Then I worked from 4:14 am to 10:30 am – I ate, did my therapy – I have to adjust my offline time to two hours instead of one.

I think Google heard me – yesterday when I searched for different types of poems, I got a list of results that said – from across the web. It looked like one column with a bunch of rows – each row had a poem name and an expandable down arrow for more info – I think it might have been the source page! Isn’t that neat! Hmmm … maybe they were doing it all the time and I just didn’t search for things that were conducive to receiving that kind of result. Maybe – I’d like to think that I am responsible, let’s just leave it at that! Interestingly – one of the results was called concrete poetry which looks like lots of fun – I would have liked to form my quadrille to look like a book but 44 words isn’t enough for that affect.

Quadrille Creation

I think therapy should be spelled – terropy because confronting your true feelings can be frightening and you may end up using a rope to hang yourself. My homework is to use the emotion-wheel to identify my true feelings before I go spiraling into the abyss of nothingness – lolal (laugh out loud a little). She told me bad should be replaced with two other words but I can’t remember what and we talked about the difference between guilt and shame and apparently there’s lots more emotions that aren’t even referenced in this wheel, but this is a good starting point.

Emotion Wheel of Terror (lol)

Suppose amusement parks had ferris wheel rides where you pick the emotion you want to feel while riding – “Everyone who wants to feel “hostile”, please jump into this capsule/car/cabin. Everyone who wants to feel “persecuted” get in over here. Furious folks, this one’s for you!” …. OOOH a Microburst in the making! Everyone will get off the ride still feeling what they feel – the angry people will chase the fearful and There Will be Blood at the amusement park – Do Americans take guns to amusement parks? At first, everyone thought these emotion ferris wheels were a great idea; a way to really feel what the other was feeling which was supposed to make the world a more empathic place but the wheel turned out to be deadly!

🎶 When I was young. I never needed anyone. Making love was just for fun. Those days are gone. All by myself. Don’t wanna be. All by myself. Anymore. All by myself. Don’t wanna live. All by myself anymore 🎶

Well, I don’t know about you but making love is still fun for me, last time I checked. And it’s good to be alone. Unless this song is talking about solitary confinement alone! But I don’t think so. I think solitary counts as isolation because you are not alone by choice, you’re being punished. I now keep my art supplies in my Monocle green, make the World a better place, canvas bag.

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