RainbowFire - Journal Entries

July 2021

Mon Jul 05:

Yesterday was my two year anniversary on WordPress – hooray! Same day as Pixie’s birthday. I didn’t even realize.

I woke up in a pretty good mood and within an hour I was feeling shitty because of a minor work-related misunderstanding – checked the Terror Wheel and it turns out my sadness stemmed from embarrassment due to my failure to communicate effectively. Then within an hour (a fly is watching me write, I wonder if he is also reading. He flew away, like, “fuck! This is some borin’ ass shit.”) I was angry – frustrated because even though we agreed at the last family meeting that everyone would wash their own dishes but for some strange motherfuckin’ reason dishes still pile up in the damn sink where Dee and I are the only ones who end up washing them. Where is your initiative Boy!

I’m gonna lose my shit and take all the housewares to the sharing space in the lobby, no dishes, no pots, no utensils, nothing to clean up. Eat outta your hand bitch. I don’t give a fuck. I’ll get rid of the furniture since you can’t push in your damn chair and if we don’t have chairs then we don’t need a fuckin’ dining table. I would say you can eat off the floor but you shits won’t clean that either. You know what, fuck it, nobody’s allowed to eat in the apartment ever-a-fuckin’-gain.

… That was me spiralling while washing the dishes. I thought about breaking everything, throwing shit over the balcony (technically I can’t cause of the bird net, but I was gonna rip that muthafucka down). I was so mad. Ugh!

Today I shared Reverence with family and my friend Sharon (she doesn’t even know that I have a blog), neither does my sister – I think my dad does, if he remembers. Anyway, I wondered whether I should, I find it easier to share with work people and strangers than family and friends. I don’t know what that means and I am not ready to examine the reasons why but so far I got compliments on my poem 🙂 Sharon told me I’m talented, my sister loved it, so did my cousins n dad. Jer said it was heavy and I said thanks to everyone. 🙂

Expectation reset in order – I cannot finish a stop-motion in one sitting. Once I keep that in mind I will be fine. Current plan is to film a section or scene at a time and enjoy the process as I go. Perhaps, I may film scene, edit, film next scene, edit and keep going like that until done.

Dude with shirt, Dog and a Silverbelly TurtleLizard

I was trying to make a turtle but the shell kept not looking right. It’s thunderstorming so bad André had to help me bring in some of the plants ; looks like the power is going to go out lights are flickering, feel like I’m in Guyana. lol.

There are a number of features I miss mucho greatly from my Pixel – I miss my weather frog, being able to see the weather on my lock screen – I don’t understand these damn widgets they feel like a waste of time – I miss being able to report a number as spam. I miss being able to customize my fonts and look of icons n stuffs. That’s not to say the Pixel didn’t have it’s issues, like overheating. I use Chrome and Google on my iPhone but it’s not fully the same.

I lost my 133 day run on Duolingo. Bummed. Our business developer guy agreed to converse with me in French so I gotta get started again. I held plank for one minute n two seconds – people say if you smile when doing something difficult it tricks your brain into thinking it isn’t hard or something – that shit ain’t true!

🎶 Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t. Don’t believe the hype! 🎶

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