This just in! Very important news. Possibly the most important news ever.
Presidential address coming to you live from the partially constructed White House Ballroom, currently under tremendous construction:
…We’re going to build a big wall. A tall wall. A very, very big, tall, completely airtight wall along the Canadian border to prevent foreign wind, smoke, and other northern atmospheric materials from entering Trumperica.
The Northern Atmospheric Security Barrier.
Distancing northern North America from Trumperica (a.k.a. central North America).
Canada will pay for it. They don’t know that yet, but they will.
That Carney! What a joke. Carney, carny, carnival. Clowns, basically. That’s what the name means, I think. Everybody knows it.
The wall will also help us keep our superior American wildfire haze right here at home, where it belongs. The best smoke. The best, beautiful smoke. Nobody produces smoke as we do.
At the same time, plans are moving forward very fast for mass deforestation. Quickly moving. Because no trees means no forest fires. Very simple.
Why didn’t the so-called experts think of it? Nobody knows. I thought of it immediately. This proves we don’t need experts.
Experts are useless. You look at some of these experts. Women, many of them. Nasty women. And you wonder how they got the job. What do women know?
Exactly.
Anyway, we encourage every country to banish trees immediately. You’ll have much more paper for um… forms, executive orders, classified documents, and coloring books.
Tremendous, huge amounts of paper… and plenty of wood – tremendous wood – for cabins and campfires.
The Democrats criticize our climate deregulation, but who needs climate?
Exactly.
Reminder:
The purification picnic is still in full swing.
If you haven’t stopped by yet, please do so, it is your patriotic duty.
It is already the largest, safest, and most successful purification picnic in the history of Trumperica – possibly the world.
This message was brought to you by
The Ministry of Truth Social.
It’s alway a pleasure to write these. 😍 Sorry about making fun of Carney. If you like this you might also enjoy, Trumps Aphabet Overhaul.
© 2026 Ociola Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
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