Remember that!
I have an idea for my next poster. lmao. Likely I’m the only one who will find it funny 😉
What you been up to?
Aside from my malfunctioning uterus, I got COVID. I’ve also been busy doing an immersive course in Yiddish and I finally figured out what’s eating Gilbert Grape.
Tool is in Toronto this month but all the good, affordable seats are gone! They’re the one band I’d see live! Last weekend I finally made it to Tranzac Club to see a jazzy/bluesy trio. I don’t get why they’re called a trio when there are five of them. Five-0 is taken but Cinquain works and it’s only associated with a five-stanza poem. (as far as I know). I was there for the setup/soundcheck. Being around musicians reminds me of Mom.
I feel the need to write a poem about my vagina but I’m not sure what to say yet – the words will come. Medical procedures are occupying my life for the moment. Last week I went for my ultrasound and on Wednesday I got in to see my gyno. When I called the receptionist said …
“I’m booking into February.” My heart sank.
“If you make me wait till February I will go on a sexual frustration bender! It won’t be pretty!” She chuckles.
“I have an appointment for next Tuesday, November 14 but it’s with a male resident doctor.”
“I’ll take it.”
“Oh! Wait a minute! You want one for this Wednesday at three?”
Hell to the yeah! “Even better! Thanks!”
“Do you consent to a male doctor?”
I find it strange we still make these statements – if the doctor is gay or a-sexual my vagina ain’t gon’ turn him on. Suppose my female doctor has been a lesbian this whole time – would I feel violated? And anyway, we ‘pos to be professionals, yes! Patients and doctors.
I wonder how common it is for doctors to have issues with their patients? In movies, we see therapy patients attracted to their practitioners but I don’t remember seeing family doctors having problems with their patients. Do podiatrists and chiropractors get in trouble for inappropriate behaviour? Are there any stats on podiatrists with foot fetishes? And trust me, when you’ve been violated you will know. (story for another time.)
During the week of Nov 12/13, I have three appointments to help figure things out. Hopefully by Dec 7, my final follow-up, I will know what’s going on. I learned that a hysterectomy is a huge surgery and is used as a last resort only. I told him, “I don’t see what the big deal is. You guys took everything else.”
Then I think …
Am I even still a woman!?
At least I got my pleasure walls.
Oooh, walls!
“Let’s run a few tests and see what else is going on first before we do anything drastic.”
We proceeded to get down to it, I had a pap and biopsy. You know how they talk to you when doing stuff, “I’m going to touch you.”
“Now you may feel some pressure.”
“Sorry. This is going to be cold.” That kinda shit. Then he says …
“I can see your cervix.” Fantastic! Take a picture it’ll last longer.
“There’s lots of blood in here.” Really! I had no idea.
I feel he could’ve kept those last two comments to himself, yes!
Have you ever heard of a sonohysterogram? That’s one of my procedures for next week. The resident gyno mentioned cancer/pre-cancer in passing – I don’t know how I’d feel if they were to officially find something cancerous but I’m not worried.
Come what may, I’m equipped to deal.
Peaceful Sam
I want to talk about any and everything
especially the things that make us
most uncomfortable
FYI …
Kvell
To Family. Friends. The Future and Beyond!
My friend prayed for me yesterday – that felt good. Thanks, Yo! 🙂
Sat Nov 11
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