… That’s what my dating life looks like right now – nutrients must be injected. I could also use some nutritious men – not in a cannibalistic or porny kinda way.
I don’t know what’s going on. Do I look retarded in my photos? Too fat? Too ugly? Too casual? ugh! Should I have settled for B2 or put up with the guy who told me to braid my hair, and also what undies to wear.
Maybe I’m exuding some kinda weird vibe – but I’m the kinda weird you wanna be around, IMO. I sense that the religious men can tell I’m not God-fearing. And I’m too far-left, even for the liberals. And I’m too outlandish and outspoken for all the rest! If I don’t find my dream guy by the end of the year, I’m going to buy a few boys: an East Asian, an African, an Eastern European, and one from Latin America. Women live longer, and I don’t know when it’s gonna rain men again.
Now we get to another hot photo trend … the gym selfie, a modern marvel that combines well with the mirror selfie. It’s like a two-for-one deal! I’m instituting a rule!
ONE selfie per profile.
Sam
That’s it, Men.
And if you’re struggling to choose,
consider incorporating all your selfies into one epic photo?
You know, a mirror, gym, pillow, car, and …
I feel like I’m forgetting something.
It doesn’t matter, you get the idea.
You can recline your car seat, hang a full-length mirror from the ceiling, put a pillow under your head, and hold a dumbbell in one hand. Alternatively, you could put your car in the gym. Or use your car as your gym. But all that seems more complicated – where will the pillow and mirror go? Anyhow, that’s for you to figure out.
Kingyo is a > third-date place.
On a more serious note, though, a few men have said they find me intimidating. What a surprise! I didn’t even get a first date with them. When I ask how I don’t get a clear answer – or at least not an answer I understand. However, I’ve heard it often enough to wonder if it’s an issue. I don’t plan to tone it down, but I’d like to understand why they feel that way.
I’m 5′ 4″, and according to my boys, not even! So, obviously, I am not physically intimidating. For the few who admitted it, thanks for letting me know because there are probably several more who haven’t. Maybe I shoulda been a man. Ewwww. I wouldn’t want to have a penis – I feel I’d be extremely overprotective of this floppy appendage that’s hanging off my body.
Question of the day:
Sam the Curious
When you wash your hands of someone,
do you need to use soap?
Remember, I recently took a break from dating and logged out of all my accounts. It was a way shorter break than I initially thought. Now, I decided to put everything into one app. I didn’t bother going back to POF. It’s all about Hinge now. I got feedback from Dee, so I’ve widdled down my info to the bare essentials – everything else we can discuss if we vibe. I want to do a video prompt to complete my profile – I like that feature. (being a writer is working against me in the profile setup department.)
So far, I haven’t encountered any fake profiles, but I still worry about emotional and physical availability. I’m sure many single folks who are serious about a long-term relationship can relate. I’ve already confirmed my suspicions with a few. The Dog Walker type doesn’t want to leave my life. Maybe it’s a sign … Jesus always does random shit and expects me to decipher. Come direct! Jesus! (and come with a few potential life partners next time you decide to show up!)
Dance Party with Jesus Christ
Yesterday, he was in the field nearby playing soccer and after the game, he fed everybody with fish and bread. That bothered me.
“Jesus! All these people you’re feeding right now can feed themselves. You should know that!”
He looks at me like I’m a pesky fly and continues entertaining.
“According to the Food and Agriculture Organization of the United Nations, hundreds of millions of people are malnourished, and that doesn’t include war-related starvation.”
“Nigga!”
“Seriously! That’s all you have to say! What does that even mean right now!?” After that, he ignored me, then dropped a massive sound system at one end of the field and started bumpin’, Bitch, Don’t Kill My Vibe. That was enough distraction to forget my woes and start dancing. He did that shit on purpose, too; he knows how much I love me some Kendrick.
It’s the perfect sleeping weather.
Thu Apr 11
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