Sorry I didn’t talk to you on Wednesday, I was looking for a haystack in a needle. I found it this afternoon! Can you believe it’s September already?
I’m a hot, tired mess. And these stupid PMI courses are taking longer to complete than I planned. I’m not sleeping; my head hurts, and I was mostly miserable all week but still fun to be around. IMO. The dark circles under my eyes have spread to my cheekbones.
🎶 I shat myself today, not like yesterday. I shat myself today. 🎶
Do you remember that song?
Someone knocked on my door Tuesday evening. I look out the fisheye; she waves, then says, “Hi. Can I use your wifi?” I thought to myself, well, this is new. Then, all those horror movies and true crime shows about people asking to use the phone and occupants winding up dead flashed before my eyes.
The lady looked pretty non-threatening, but you never know these days. I don’t even open my door to children. “I prefer to talk to strangers through a locked door.”
I moved away from the front of the door and pressed my back against the wall adjacent. “Why do you need my wifi?” (There’s lots of free wifi all over the place; what’s so special about mine?)
She told me some sob story about how she just moved in down the hall and wanted to send a few photos quickly to her mom who only has internet access for a short while because she’s in prison for murdering many people via a poison I never heard of.
Luckily the tablet was able to fit through the mail slot. She waited for me to set it up. I returned her device, and she said, “Thank you. Thank you. God bless you.”
(God bless me yeah, cause I’m walking away with my life.)
🎶
My first death metal song
I don’t like living with teenage boys
They make me hate my life
They don’t bring me joy
They don’t bring me joy
The hate’s increasing and it makes me irate
I can’t hold back this murderous rage
This murderous rage
Rage
Rage
Maybe in prison I will meet my soulmate
🎶
I sang that to Dre, and he said, “I know you’re only talking about Matt cause I’m twenty!”
“Am I though?” He walks away
I’m gonna be an Album when I grow up!
A group of biker-looking dudes walk into a theatre. I hope you’re laughing cause that’s the joke. (I still suck.)
Whenever I’m watching true crime and hear a survivor story, it makes me happy. It’s as if my favourite team scored a goal. People who go through crazy harrowing events and still refuse to be victims inspires me.
🎶
That’s from a movie – Annie?
Zip a dee do da. Zip a dee yay.
My oh my, what a wonderful day.
Plenty of sunshine coming my way.
Zip a dee do da. Zip a dee yay.
There’s a bluebird on my shoulder
And something and something and
something, something, something.
Zip a dee do da. Zip a dee yay.
🎶
I don’t want to be laid to rest cause that sounds boring as hell. Plus imma get tired of looking at the top of my casket day after day. If I get buried, they’d have to dig me up every quarter to put me in a different casket, and I want a disco ball and music on 24/7. Also, I don’t want to be cremated and dumped anywhere or holed up in an urn.
Mummification!
Dead Sam
The way for me to continue
after I go
I wanna sit at the dinner table during holiday events. Go clubbin’ and drinkin’. Go out to restaurants. Sit on the couch watching movies and true crime stories. I want the kids to read me fairy tails before bed, and I wanna play with my grandkids at the park, pick them up from daycare n shit.
Some curious kid will ask, “What’s that?”
“My grandma!”
“Why she look like that?”
“She dead stupid!” As far as my family is concerned, walking around with a grand/mother mummy is normal.
🎶 Da. Da. Da. Da. Da. да. да. да. да. I wanna be mummified. 🎶
Do you remember that song?
BTW: Cyrillic is beautiful. So are Hangul, Devanagari, Armenian, Kanji, Hiragana, Katakana, Arabic, Chinese and every script language out there. They’re works of art.
Latin is just whatever. Latin! You’re boring! English sucks! I shouldn’t say that cause it’s the only language I know. If it gets taken away, I won’t be able to speak, read, write. That would be awful cause I still got lots to say.
English! I love you!
Although often you confuse me
I know I owe you more ROM photos and Tyrant No. 6 answer. I’m gonna stop telling you when I’m gonna do shit cause I probably won’t do it and I don’t want you to be disappointed. Speaking of disappointed … I start SC Writing 2 and Improv 1 this Sunday. As usual I will share with you what I learn.
I’m so excited!
Fri Sep 8
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