What you doing for Canada Day?

Disclaimer: You might not appreciate this post. It contains strong feelings, an absence of maternal warmth, and no actionable advice.

You know. It feels excellent to be downsizing.

I’m looking forward to my rowing machine, and I’m trying to figure out where I can carve out some space to paint ‘n’ shit. I want to make another abstract painting, but on a large canvas. I have a vision in my gut.

I’m finding dishes and other things I’ve hidden from the boys over the years. When they’re gone, it will be wonderful to get reacquainted with my stuff.

I thought about bringing them out now, but even though they are technically men, they still behave like boys. Next thing you know, shit’s gonna break or chip. My cutting boards will have stab wounds in them. So… I’ll just hold onto my shit till they leave.

Remember that
countdown-to-freedom clock I had when they were in high school?

That’s long expired.

Being a parent sucks. When they’re babies and maybe toddlers, it’s ok, but after that, shit gets boring fast, and you can’t even change your mind. Even if I’m like…

…you know what, I thought I wanted to be a mother, but you guys are some fuckin’ asshole little shits. If you call me “Mommy” one more time I will rip your tongue straight outta your shit mouth. 

inside voice sam

There’s no recourse if I no longer want that family life. I gotta live with this fuckin’ mistake till I die or until I find the courage to fuck off. But I can’t do that, cause the world’s gonna judge me, like I’m the douche for leaving when it’s not me, it’s my kids and my husband/dad. (make of that what you will).

I’ll be made to feel guilty, “Oh my God!!! How can a mother do such a thing!?” 

Whenever I wake up from my beautiful living-alone dream, I’m angry for the whole day.

Why isn’t my nest empty yet sam

And why you still asking me for money nigga, ain’t you got no job!

I’m gonna write a Dear John letter, but for abandoning your children instead. (that will be a separate post). Other ex-mothers can use it as a template.

Ugh! Glad I got most of that out. 

Anyway, while fantasizing about freedom, I recently discovered Maurizio Cattelan, an Italian artist who makes me laugh.

Well! I’ll talk to you later. I’m gonna start laying out my next kids’ book this week. This week, I learned about why it’s best to flatten my PDF for industrial printers.

I’m impatiently waiting for my proofs from Ingram and Amazon. It’s looking good, though – I think by early-mid July I can put the book up for distribution.

Still haven’t figured out how to fix my mobile menu and the spacing issue.

FYI: Making art is cheaper than disappearing.

tried and failed sam

Thu Jun 25

© 2026 Ociola Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.