It’s Friday yo! Did you have a good week?
I invented an alarm clock that can reach out and strangle (or suffocate) its owner if they don’t get up within thirty seconds of the alarm going off. They won’t know the clock has this capability until the first time they fail to get out of bed within the given timeframe.
Once the event starts, I haven’t figured out how to stop it. But none of that matters—we’ve already sold 15 million units, and we have big law firm on retainer. It’s not our fault if you didn’t read the fine print. Plus, we did the math, and it’s better to pay out damages than try to fix the issue and be late to market.
Fairy Tale Book
I’m super excited because Dee will illustrate The Troll and the Ballerina for me. I might have mentioned it before, but it’s official now. I sent the link, but they told me I needed to break it down into pages and give notes on what I’d like to see on each page, along with character inspirations. I’m working on that now.
Those are the two characters I had initially, but now I have an artist who can combine different aspects I am going to find others.
I have twenty pages already, and I’m not even done – and I still have to finish the story. I’m enjoying the process because it makes me think differently about the flow of the story. Cool, right?
A Closer Walk with Big Baby Jesus
I was walking and talking with Jesus just yesterday or sometime this week. I asked him, “Brah! Look at the state of humanity. Aren’t you pissed? You basically got crucified for no reason.”
“It’s ok.”
“You straight up just lied to my face!”
“I mean, things could be better. But what can you do?”
“What the fuck you mean, ‘what can you do!’ Brah! Who’s your daddy!”
He started crying and I’m no good at comforting people. That shit’s awkward as fuck! So I left!
“Alright, Jesus! I’ll talk to you later.” Last I saw, he was crying on the sidewalk, looking all homeless ‘n shit.
Which brings us to …
Name that Tyrant No.09
Before we get to the answer, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic because it’s been almost two years. The first Tyrant game show was summer of ’22 …
Some of my favourite prizes we’ve given away include:
Sam – Your Gameshow Host
Bust of Idi Amin and the British colonial uniform
Stalin stash and smallpox scar stickers
DIY abortion kit inspired by Ceaușescu
Tyrant Number Nine is: Jorge Rafael Videla
Soapbox Sam:
Many tyrants are out there, some of whom don’t officially have the title yet, but you should know what to look for, yes! History may catch up long after they’re dead, depending on who’s writing the books. (or, more importantly, who’s paying to have the books written.)
Inspired by recent real-world developments, we are offering unique prizes. Having a good foundation is essential to success – especially if you want to annihilate a population and still receive funding from world powers.
So now we got Plain Ol Tyrant and Boss Tyrant. Boss Tyrant is some powerful shit. You don’t even have to cover up with propaganda pamphlets and videos, just do you – out in the open for the world to see!
Hitler’s rolling in his grave and wishing he was alive right now!
🎶
Boss Tyrant
Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do
Boss Tyrant
🎶
Well, I am going to leave you cause it’s 11:00 PM, and I have other things to do. I didn’t write out all the prizes they’re still ideas floating about in my head. I’ll share them with you later.
Enjoy the weekend, yes!
Fri May 03Photo by Sergey Shmidt on Unsplash
© 2024 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
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