I figured it out! If men have man caves, then women have cavemen!
If you’re living with someone – you didn’t move into this person’s place, you guys got a place together but even if you did move into someone’s space, would you be alright if there were certain rooms you couldn’t enter? I sure as hell wouldn’t be! We both grown; you can’t tell me where to not go!
Do you remember Super Dave Osborne – the stunt man from the variety show Bizarre? The TV’s been on Adult Swim all day while I labour through one PMI course. I don’t know if he has his own series or if they picked out his parts and made a show of it. That may be why I wanted to do stunts.
DATED
So … about my recent dating failure experience … I met this guy a few weeks back and I very much liked him from the jump. We had a few video calls then met up. (This is the guy I met at the park.) We vibin’ and ended up doing things adults do – this is an R-rated site, not X-rated; you will have to use your imagination. (I haven’t been around a man romantically in five years, I couldn’t hold back.)
From the beginning though, he wasn’t much of a talker and I wasn’t comfortable with that but depending on my mood I’m not much of a talker either or I can talk too much. At first, I used to text him way more often than he’d text me but after we met up I was like, “Fuck it!” I was upfront about how much I liked him and I didn’t feel like giving more than I was getting – my communications fell off a cliff and he noticed.
He sent me messages asking why I was moving sideways and behaving differently and I told him – I don’t want to get more attached to you than I already am. He asked me if the sex wasn’t good and I lol’ed but reassured him.
For me though, sex is just an activity between two people. I’m not going to give it more meaning than it deserves. So after I reassured him and said some things that made him call me an over-thinker, the best thing happened … He asked me for a favour. I’m gonna give you a few minutes to guess what the favour was. Enjoy this bedroom photo while brainstorming …
… He asked me to buy him something on Amazon for ~ 180$. I’m laughing while I write this because he’s such an idiot. Just because I like you and we have sex doesn’t mean I lose my common sense and critical thinking skills, you fuckin’ idiot. Maybe because I’m almost 50 he thinks I’m desperate for a relationship and ANY relationship would do.
You don’t know me brah!
Badass Psycho Sam
As quickly as I turn it on, I can turn it off.
It’s a skill I take pride in!
So I asked him … Am I buying this with your money or mine
I didn’t want to jump to any conclusions because people have sent me money to buy things for them because I have a Prime membership.
Yours. That’s the favour.
I’m looking at the text and thinking, you can’t really believe I like you that much. Can you? Or maybe you think I’m stupid or desperate for love or some shit. I sent my text …
Nah! The sex wasn’t that good!
He replied with an OK and that was that. I archived the chat and didn’t look back.
When I told Dee, she said, “He couldn’t ask for something small to start, like a chocolate bar.” We laughed about it and I realized, it’s hard for me to date multiple people – I find it confusing and overwhelming it fucks with my head. If I like someone they get my attention 100% until they don’t deserve it anymore and I move on to the next but I cannot split my attention between multiple people.
I ain’t tryna be nobody’s (sugar) mamma. I have no desire to be your everything.
Contented Sam
I’m not afraid of being alone and I’m not in a hurry to get married or some other bullshit.
This process will take as long as it takes. And if it doesn’t take, that’s okay too.
I ain’t looking for nobody to complete me.
I’m just me;
not likely to be whatever your stereotypical
vision of a 50-year-old single woman is supposed to be.
I’m like five, I got my whole life ahead of me.
Quantity to get to Quality! I don’t plan to have sex with 300+ men but you know, I’m open! (If a future date sees this and gets offended or whatever, oh well! If Bossman sees this, I want him to know I will always have orgy space in my life for him and my coworkers.)
Mon Oct 16
Feature Photo by JEFERSON GOMES on Unsplash
© 2023 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
