Hi! My name is Samantha Williams and I am a cereal spiller. Not to be confused with serial killer. People have stopped inviting me for breakfastes and brunches because cereal spills out of the box onto the tables and floores. cereal spills out of my mouth and onto nearby faces and clothes. I love cereal too much to be boxed into one kind of breakfast. I don’t want eggs or bacon or toast – I only wants scereals.
Whenever people ask me what my blog is about – I get stuck and I am not sure what to say because tratitionally, your blog is supposed to be about some topic – as if only subject matter esperts are allowed to start a blog. Well fuck that! My new response will be …
My blog is about me and my love of variety
with a capital VAR (containing many things yes!)
And as sam learns and grows the blog will evolve to be about
(plus)(minus)(life expereiences) = Sam v x.x.x
Start doing whatever it is your heart is calling you to do. If it involves causing harm, get that shit fixed.
FYI: I would like for Grammarly to stop telling me how to spell shit!
Do you wonder what firefighters do when thems not firefighting? I think they have sex with each other – the fire is an afrodisiac and when they get back to homebase it’s dicks out! And vaginas (I don’t want to be sexist) – see the clothing on the floor? That’s how I know!
Car and Driver
As flying birds, pigeons sure look silly with their head bobbing walk. “Hey Pigeon! Why aren’t you flying?”
“My name is Pete!”
“Pete, why do pigeons walk so much often?”
“Pete cannot speak for all pigeons. I decided to walk today because my wings are tired. The pedals on my new bicycle are being adjusted to the right height for my legs and my driver has the day off.”
“Woah! You have a driver!”
“Sure do!”
“What kind of car?”
“A Rolls Royce Phantom!”
“No fuckin’ way! Can I borrow your car and driver sometimes?”
“Sure can!”
“Sweet! … Wait! What’s the price?”
“A variety of seeds, berries and even stale bread is fine with me and my driver.”
“Your driver is a pigeon!?”
“Sure is.”
“No way!”
“Yep!”
“No way!”
“Yep.”
“No way!”
“We parrots now.”
“Sorry! That’s so crazy! I didn’t know you guys could drive!”
“Sure can.”
Dear Jesus: I been asking you for a RRP with a driver for years! Thank you for introducing me to Pete and his chauffeur Horatio. Your faithful servant! Sam
This week, something happened to make me think about how I want friends and family to remember me. I want to make people smile and laugh. I’d like them to be introspective. But I don’t know how to do that except to say shit that makes people feel uneasy (somtimes extremely). But then they will probably look at me funny rather than looking inside themselves.
Last Sunday, my teacher said something like …
Comedy is powerful.
Teacher in Second City Writing II
Satire is an agent for change – the best form of activism.
Comedy! I love you!
Well my homework was supposed to be a parody but I did a satire instead – now I officially know the difference. I’m not gonna share my scripts with you because I feel the need to make short movies or/and animations with them. I’ll share those with you!
Sat Sep 23
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