Forward Pass

I am Comedian – even when I’m the only one laughing (like now).

Hear me joke!

The other night I dreamed I owned a baby goat and one baby pig. I could have been living on a farm because I remember seeing fields and barns but I was still in my apartment – like someone picked up my building and put it on a farm; and I don’t know how these babies started living with me. Anyhay. I went to work one day and when I came back baby goat had eaten all my books.

“Goat baby! Why for you that do!?”

He responded, “The philosophical personification of your modern-day scrolls has been articulated into my mandibular rectus. All is well.”

“Whoa. All that knowledge is in your jaw muscles?”

“Bleat!”

🎶

Grown up goat
do do do do do do
Grown up goat

🎶

I have an idea – whenever there’s a draw at the end of a boxing match then we go into overtime and they fight in the final round till someone gets knocked out.

If I die in the winter and it is freezing cold out you don’t have to come to my going away party. If I die in the summer and you’re busy doing fun shit you don’t have to come to my going away party, although … my party will be fun too. If I die in the springtime when it’s wet and gross and the sight of the outdoors makes you wanna vomit, you don’t have to come to my going away party then either.

I will do my best to pass on forward in the autumn months (barring climate change). Plus, don’t feel bad or nothin’ cause you can say bye, or hello, to me from wherever you are any time you want. I will hear you.

I sat and wrote today for the first time in several months. At this moment I feel like I wanna go to the office tomorrow, we’ll see what happens in the morning.

You had good weekend, yes!

© 2023 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.