… awww. them so cute!
I’m allergic to outside; so much for tag. Matt’s at the Arctic Monkeys concert tonight.
I don’t understand why monkeys isn’t spelled monkies! Why do they and chimneys deserve this exception? Why! Why can’t I pluralize sheep with an “s”? That why me spell swords however me wanna sometimes.
🎶
Does lots of sexperience make you a high quality shag?
You used to get it in your fishnets
Now you only get it in your night dress
Discarded all the naughty nights for niceness
Landed in a very common crisis
Everything’s in order in a black hole
Nothing seems as pretty as the past though
That Bloody Mary’s lacking in Tabasco
Remember when you used to be a rascal?
Oh the boy’s a slag
The best you ever had
🎶
Caring for someone else’s child takes a particular kind of person. I don’t ever want that responsibility. Maybe when I’m older, like close to death. To all the people who can treat any child like their own. Fuck that! Cause some people do unspeakable things to their own.
Cheers! To all those who raise children with loving kindness, compassion, patience and all the other great qualities it takes to raise a child (Their own, but especially someone else’s).
I dedicate this post to my sister, Dre’s stepmom (who I didn’t always appreciate cause I’m a douche – I’m man enough to admit it) and all the stepparents and guardians out there.
And some kids … you try your best to raise them right, but they grow up to be someone’s or manyone’s living nightmare. Don’t blame yourself because when they become adults, they’re free to choose. Which brings us to …
Name That Tyrant No. 06
Hooray! Finally. This one took a long time because I was trying to figure out what to say without giving it away … here goes.
The youngest and only boy of four children, born in the early 1940s – some say June to October. The family kept camels (that’s a significant clue), heaps o sheep and goats. (baby goat. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. baby goat). Throughout childhood, the boy was interested in politics and exhibited strong leadership qualities. He went to military school in the late 1950s. And I believe very early, he and a bunch of classmates planned to overthrow the government.
I feel if I tell you the prizes you’re gonna know who it is for sure but here goes … This time we will have ten winners. All you’re gonna get is a grain of sand and nothing else.
Ok. I’m joking.
- Prizes Include:
- Four fourteen-year-old Amazonian brides (you’re well off to starting a harem. Sorry! We have no boys to give away)
- Two baby chicks (they grow up to be chickens, not women)
- One five-foot hourglass with authentic desert sand (you can flip it but we don’t recommend it)
- One playbook with instructions on how to quell civil liberties
- One life-sized platform for hanging real people (including one real recently dead body) … you can set it up in your front yard and have public executions – Yes! They still draw a crowd.
- One portable tent … When you travel, you don’t need to stay in a hotel. Rock out with your tent out wherever you like.
- One book – this one book acts as a bible for everything you’ll ever need to know. Ever.
And since I believe this one is super easy – I will be announcing the winners on Monday, September 4. 2023. Hurry up and get your responses in at tyrant@gameshows.com by 11:59 pm on Sunday, September 3, 2023.
I am willing to give up dairy and wheat, but I don’t wanna give up alcohol. Guess I won’t be meeting the future half of my dysfunctional relationship in AA.
We’ll meet in AB (Alcoholic Babes).
Wed Aug 30
© 2023 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
