Yeah, so … “That’s not in my budget!” is still working. “Is that going to make me afraid to go on the scale in the morning?” isn’t. Maybe it cannot be more than five words, and it cannot be a question. I need something new. Perhaps:
- That’s not scale worthy!
- Seven samurais become sumo wrestlers!
- Scales cannot fly like carpets with fat people on them! (damn it! Too many letter words. BUT this could be a spy code. Response: Fat Sam’s imagination).
- Eat a dick instead! (Perfect! … Except this will remind me of the sex I am not having, ugh).
Yesterday I wondered why I am creating creatures if they have no purpose. But everything I do doesn’t have to be immediately useful right? … I can make things just because – like my rock garden!
Was looking for something to draw when I found the image below. I love installation art. When Dee and I went to see Andy Warhol, he had an installation of hot air balloons.
It seems that I am out of my funk and ready to cause trouble.
For the next few days, I refuse to wait, in line or otherwise, for anything – public transit, checkout, bathrooms (at home or outside). To get what I want, I will push people out of the way, snatch them from restrooms and pelt them with eggs and hot skinny pig poopee patties – that way, the inside will be all melty when it hits their face and explodes. Double Damage Bamage!
There is no law saying I have to wait in line for anything, although it is understood (but no longer by me.) And there is no law that says I have to wait my turn for the restroom. The pushing and pelting? Well …Sam
Working out makes me feel invincible. But then I forget the feeling and get all mopey next time I gotta go.
BREAKING NEWS: Laundry Room Closure
Our laundry room is closed until the end of the month. Such an inconviencence! The laundromat across the street closes at midnight, but if you don't exit after that time, you could stay in there all night. Problem is ... They have cameras and a security guard who stops by every few hours. I cannot run my sex work shop from that establishment. And I cannot afford to dismiss my clients for two weeks. In a quandary, I explained the situation to the boys hoping they'd be open to me doing my business in the apartment again. They weren't! (One more reason teenage boys and I don't get along.) I must find a new location tonight!
I may have to give up Zoey … now even just being in the living room makes me sneezy and snotty and itchy. BTW: I want a dog sheep who can stop me from wandering into the kitchen late at night and count me to sleep.
It feels really, very awesomely fantastic to know I can make people laugh! My SuperPower at work 🙂
Stay away from people who want to isolate you from your friends and family. AND if anyone tells you they have a direct connection to God, look at them like they’re stupid and say, “Duh! So do I!” Then take off running and don’t ever look back.Sam
Do you know that thing that happens to you when you want something? Say you’re thinking about buying a dog, then you spot dogs everywhere. I remember when my girlfriend was ready to have a baby, she saw babies all over the place. One time we went out for lunch, and there was this stupid bawling baby and she’s like, “Awww. I wonder what’s wrong.” I was like …
“Bitch! I’m trying to eat over here. If you don’t shut that motherfucker up …” Anyhow, I had to pay a fine for that outburst. Which makes no sense to me. I argued that the family should get charged for noise pollution, but no one wanted to hear it!
I transgress. There is a psychological term for it. What I’m trying to tell you is that I see dicks everywhere! I won’t bore you with my penis sightings, but it continues, and I don’t understand why; It’s not like I want a disembodied sex utensil.
One last thing before I go: Earlier, Matt and Dre are in my room being annoying. Dre points out all these marks on Matt’s back.
Me: Something going on you not telling us about? Matt: Yes. I have a dominatrix who whips me.
Leave a Reply