And What Else Don’t I Know

Guess what me did! Guess what me did! …

I completed an easy pace 5k run this morning at ~ 6:15 am. When I started I was thinking, “I can’t run for an hour,” but I could run for fifteen minutes, then another fifteen, then another and another. And what do you know? I ran for an hour 🙂

Yay!

Do you remember the last time I ranted about arson and murder because of the Boys and the kitchen? I had more to tell you, but before I start …

HeadSong:

🎶 Break it to me gently. Let me down the easy way. Make me feel that you still love me. If it’s just for one more day. Break it to me gently, so my tears won’t fall too fast. If you must go, then go slowly. Let me love you ’till the last 🎶

Break It To Me Gently – Brenda Lee

With Mum In The Kitchen:

While I was enjoying my Ambrosia Radio and washing the dishes, I kept feeling like someone was behind me. I’ve felt that feeling before, but I always dismissed it as me being nervous because my music is loud enough that I cannot hear anyone walking into the kitchen. The kids have scared me like that before.  

There I am, washing, singing, pausing to dance and every now and then, I’d turn around, but no one would be there. A few times, I exited the kitchen and looked around. Hallway – Clear. Living room – Clear. Dining room – Clear. I get back to washing. 

THEN … For some reason, I remembered Dee telling me about recent experiences where she kept dreaming about my mom and woke up one morning to a sparrow on her window sill. And several other “coincidences” all happening around the time she was getting ready to do her genetic check for BRAC1. The last thing I recall her telling me was that her primary doctor’s name was Pamela. Which is Mom’s first name.

While all these thoughts are swirling, I turn around and look at the space where I feel this presence and say out loud … “Mom! I love you.” “Forgive me for all the times I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

I said many other things, but those are the two I remember precisely. I went back to the dishes, and that feeling of someone behind me was gone and I’d say I was washing for another thirty minutes, at minimum. The next time I felt a presence that day was a few hours later. After I finished cleaning, had my burger and watched a few true crime shows, I went to take my afternoon nap.

I WAS TERRIFIED before I fell asleep because it felt like someone was moving around on my bed. Imagine sensing pressure, like maybe how it would feel if someone was crawling around the foot of your bed on their hands and knees – that’s what it reminded me of, but I was alone.

I didn’t see or hear anything, but I felt everything. Now, I say good night to mom and my grandmothers. And at random, I will say, “I love you.”

Other times in my life I’ve sensed things. By no means do I believe I am psychic, and that is NOT what I am implying. 

I remember when we lived somewhere else, my mom was still alive at the time. Another “incident” happened in the kitchen. I was doing my thing, and suddenly a feeling of calm enveloped me. It felt like someone covered me in a heavy blanket. I don’t know how else to describe it.

You can call me crazy or chalk it up to whatever makes you comfortable, but I know what I felt. I remember another event when I was about eight or ten. I will tell you about that another time – orhaps I will draw it instead because that time I did see something, and it happened at my mom’s friend’s house.

And with all of that said, I go finish my multiple tanka poem. Oh and, this evening I went to the grocery store, I looked at the ice cream but didn’t bring any home 🙂

Hooray me!

Sat May 14, 2022

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