Journal Entry – Mon Sep 14

“Wind is dead. Long live fire,” I say in response to the boys dialogue while playing Spellbinder or Spellcaster. Spell something. I often chime in, making silly comments or I’ll make suggestions on what they should do – which makes no sense cause I know nothing about the games. Now Dee and André are playing Need for Speed every night. I live with a bunch of gamers.

I was supposed to meet my boss at work today but the C-19 numbers have been going up in Ontario. I messaged him yesterday morning and told him how I felt so we postponed.

Last week I didn’t write a single entry in my journal. I kept putting it off – I was just tired. Now I think it might be best for me to go back to daily posting. I feel so lazy and nauseous. I wish I could channel my work motivation and discipline into everything else I do. I feel like I want to write my previous entries anyway, but now it’s going to be all out of order 😦 – My life feels out of order. I haven’t even written anything in weeks, no poems, no nothing.

I disabled my Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram accounts. I only got FB because I needed it to sign up for Tinder back in 2015, but I’ve never been a big user and I only use Instagram when I went on my trip or when someone sends me there to look at something. Twitter was just trendy. I don’t have time to look through people’s posts and frankly, I don’t care about what everyone else is doing – I’d rather sleep or watch a movie (or write, I wish).

I have my reputable news sources, that’s all I need, until I don’t. I unlinked most of my Google accounts from a bunch of different apps and double checked my privacy and security settings again – Last time I did that was in March. I kinda also want to get rid of Whatsapp but I just turned off my notifications instead.

If the world was coming to an end, how would I know? At this point, I don’t think I’d have the energy to do anything. I’d just lay in my bed and look out the window. The highways are pre-covid crazy again.

I’ve been playing Scrabble – Words with Friends 2; in my case it’s Words with Strangers 1.

Just when I thought I had a good schedule for taking my meds so it won’t affect me in the day time, I realized it isn’t working. Within hours of waking, I’m yawning like crazy and can’t wait to go back to bed. Even coffee isn’t helping. I had my last meeting with my boss at 2 pm – I went back to bed at 2:30 pm – At least I track my hours so I know how much time I need to make up. I was considering having the boys do full days online but after chatting with Paul I will stick to my original plan, half day in school and half online.

The boys woke me up with their gaming related yelling this afternoon then I got dinner started. I slept for three hours. I was dreaming:

I went to my old hairdresser and there were all these babies crawling about the place, and parents were sleeping on the floor. It felt more like a daycare. At some point I picked up one of the babies and she was rubbing the stem of a semi ripe banana on my lips, back and forth, back and forth (I have no idea what that means – sicko baby).

Last week I had a dream that my teeth were dissolving or crumbling like chalk.

Can you eat breakfast food for dinner? What about dinner food at breakfast?

Today I will take my meds an hour earlier at 7 pm instead. And I think I will post my journal entry right after work, before sleepiness overwhelms me. My only concern is that I won’t capture my entire day 😦

I am excited, we are making good progress on OKRs – Next Tuesday we will present at the Town Hall. I made adjustments to my original deck and sent a copy to Paul for review.

I will end my night with a shandy and Stranger Words. That reminds me – One time, last year I had a Shandy at work at like 7 am – I think the CFO thought I had a drinking problem. Why is having a drink before noon a bad thing? Who made noon the standard? Why can’t my “happy hour” be whenever I want it to be? Gosh!!

Feature Photo Credit: @ashleystrick93 via Twenty20

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