My mom sent me to the store
For eggs, coffee and more
Instead of going straight there with the list
A temptation turned up that I could not resist
I made a beeline for the park
And hung out with my friends until dark
By the time I realized what had happened
The store was closed. I was saddened
Guys! Please help me concoct a story
That will diffuse my mother’s fury
What if you were kidnapped by a giant with a hairy back
What if you fell into a ditch, under a spell by an evil witch
What if you got lost, returned by a blue and white horse
What if we tell her you died? Then the angels came down and cried
Bringing you back alive. Miracle verified
We can explain the time loss with an alien abduction, of course
Bye. I’ll just go home. And face my mom alone
“Sam! Where have you been?”
“I was trapped in a cotton gin.”
“Seriously. Where were you?”
“Aliens took me to Kathmandu.”
“You know your sister saw you in the park?”
“I hitched a ride back on an aardvark.”
Whenever my mom sent me on an errand, I would disappear for hours. Looking back, lies rolled off my tongue way too easily, and they were always ridiculously outrageous. When confronted, I would either tell unbelievable lies or be silent. Even though I was always afraid to go home that never stopped me.
Sam
Feature Photo Credit:@j.m.bez via Twenty20
2 Comments
This is such a relatable post, Sam. I really enjoyed this one.
Btw, did you ever come back from your errand runs with everything that was asked?!
Thank you Sue. When I did go, I would usually return with everything. Mostly unbroken – once, on the way back, we went for a joyride in a shopping cart and ended up tumbling. Eggs broken, one exploded milk bag along with a bunch of scrapes and bruises. Memories 🙂
The time it took for me to return depended on the season. In the wintertime it was about a 95% success rate. I’d go and come back quickly. All bets were off in the summer 🙂