Under Contract

Written by

Unfortunately
Gizmos 
Do not come with 
Performance transparency

Fulfillment guarantees 
Appearance warranties

Remember when
Sex Worker Sally told us
She couldn't get her money
Because he failed to perform
In the alleyway 
Sucking
Hand-jobbing 
But nothing's happening
He blamed it on anxiety
His first time with a lady

Or that anti-fairy tale time
When I made my bed with that guy
Who was a dick because he was
Having problems with his dick
Almost convinced me it was my fault 
And for a while I endured the verbal assault

But pussies aren't meant to be on layaway 
Retrieved my footing to break away
Found myself a working dick
Right across the hallway

Gizmos must have upfront assurances
Lifetime relationship promises
No act-of-nature clauses