When I grow up I’m gonna be a used panty vending machine – I’ll probably make the most money in Japan.
FYI: I like to spice things up in the bedroom with mayonnaise; by rubbing it behind my man’s ears, between all his toes, and under his foreskin. When we’ve completed fore, mid-center and after play, the next best part is sleeping on those dirty, dirty sheets – and the next-next best part
… we wake up in the morning smelling like stale egg salad sandwiches and we do it all over again because mayonnaise, hydrogen sulphide and sweat get me wet!
Mayonnaise!
and BTW – I love saying, “mayonnaise.”
I put that shit on everything!
(hope I didn’t overshare)
🎶 Mayonnaise on your face, if I don’t lick it off it would be a disgrace. Mayonnaise from your butt mixes well with peanut butt-er. Butter is better with mayonnaise. 🎶
I’m gonna write songs one day. Oooh … I’m also gonna do a mayonnaise sex collage ASAP!
I made it to the office two days this week – Hooray Me!
Tuesday evening I hung out with Mama and Mia for a bit before home. I haven’t been on an artist date since going to church.
Oh! By the way, yesterday Jesus came over for dinner – we had sticky rice with tuna, mayo and kimchi. Yes! I used what mayonnaise I could salvage from my bed sheets and our bodies. I didn’t have time to run to the grocery store, cause he just pops in whenever. So far, he’s never overstayed his welcome.
Jesus Christ!
I love you!
At lunch the other day I told Bossman I will be a famous writer and he ignored me.
“Did you hear what I just said!”
“Sorry.” He says, not even looking up from his phone.
“I’m gonna be a famous writer!”
“Only in your dreams.”
What a douche! At least I know where I shouldn’t go for encouragement.
I am doing research for Name That Tyrant No. 6! Are you excited?
I want to be in a zine show but I have to figure out how to participate.
Sleep tight. I hope you wake up before spontaneously combusting – but being awake won’t save you.
🎶 Mayonnaise on your face, if I don’t lick it off it would be a disgrace. 🎶
Wed Aug 02
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