Yo! My weekends are flying by like it’s nobody’s business. (I’m not sure what that means, but I like how it sounds.) I made some progress with the outstanding issues on my website. Yay.

I’ve been thinking about how I’m going to celebrate when I reach 500 poems (i’m on 467 or 470 – somewhere there)

And how I will celebrate the official release of The Troll and the Ballerina and my second book. Now that I have a solid understanding of the process – I think I can release #2 before September.

AND… I have two other kids books in mind

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I came across two quotes from Sir Attenborough, and I will keep them with me forever.

“We moved from being a part of nature to being apart from nature.”

“Every breath of air we take, every mouthful of food that we take, comes from the natural world. And if we damage the natural world, we damage ourselves.”

Sir David Attenborough

Question of the Day: How do you walk on sunshine?

Sometimes I wish I were a musician so I could jam with CCR, Tool, Nova Twins, Wolfmother, The Black Keys or System of a Down. OMG, that would be insane. I’d be happy with just sitting in on a session. I’m in my rock music mode/mood if you can’t tell.

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When I grow up, I’m gonna be anti-human.

disillusioned with the human race sam

Maybe I study tyrants (and the dark side of human nature) because I’m afraid I could give in to my dark side. Or, under tyranny, I’d be the person who rats out a neighbour to temporarily save my ass.

Ugh.

Although I understand some of the mechanics of how a person becomes detached from reality, humility, and other people, I still find it strangely fascinating and disturbing.

I’m still trying to figure out the attraction but maybe I don’t need to. Just accept it for what it is.

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Name That Tyrant #12

First, we will revisit the question. Answers are highlighted. Then I will reveal the tyrant. Original Post. Initially, I said you have to get all prizes right, but now I will give away one prize per question.

1. What did he rename after himself and his family?

A) The capital city and all bread
B) A meteor shower and the moon
C) Months of the year, bread and a crater
D) Thursdays and camels

2. What did he ban?

A) Lip-syncing and dogs in the capital
B) Eyeglasses and sadness
C) Toothbrushes and accordion music
D) Trees and fermented milk

3. What giant object did he construct that rotated to face the sun?

A) A gold-plated wheat stalk
B) A bronze horse carrying his autobiography
C) A giant mechanical eye
D) A golden statue of himself

4. What did he suggest as an alternative to brushing your teeth?

A) Gargling with saltwater before bed
B) Chewing bones regularly (type of bone not specified)
C) Eating charcoal after meals
D) Rubbing garlic on the gums

5. Why did he redefine stages of life and aging?

A) To align human development with national productivity goals
B) To reflect spiritual traditions
C) Because average lifespans had increased dramatically
D) Because he didn’t want people to think he’s old

Congratulations to those who knew our tyrant was Saparmurat “Türkmenbaşy” (Leader of the Turkmen) Niyazov.

Based on my not-so-extensive research, this guy was not in the mass-murder or genocide tier of tyrants, but don’t let the cartoon-villain details fool you. He ran a deeply repressive personality-cult state.

Prizes per Question

1. The National Rebrand Starter Package:
   • A label maker
   • One insecure password-protected login to global map databases. Rename streets, buildings and bodies of water as the impulse strikes
   • Books:
     • How to Bastardize Symbols
     • A first edition of Türkmenbaşy‘s book Ruhnama
2. Türkmenbaşy Joyful Gift Basket:
   • Portrait of every tyrant featured on Name That Tyrant to date
     • Use them in place of family photos
     • Gift a few to loved ones
     • Request access to our AI Image Combiner (still in beta)
       • Want a photo of you, Stalin, Pol Pot and Türkmenbaşy playing poker? No problem.
   • Silent karaoke machine and microphone
   • Dog-Gone-It Colouring Book
     • Contains many, many dog species
     • Includes black and white crayons
   • 100kg of dried muskmelon (to be eaten on Muskmelon Day only)
   • One taxidermy dog kit. Choice of:
     • English Mastiff or Great Dane
     • Bulldog or Airedale Terrier
     • Chihuahua or Pomeranian
3. On call Monument Making team (1 year free)
   • including engineers, architects, artists, and labourers
   • free shipping of resources (steel, stone, marble, etc)
   • They’ll make whatever you want, no objections
4. Toothbrush Liberation Crate
   • One portable fire pit
     • invite friends, family, neighbours to toothbrush burning events
     • Lifetime supply of various bones (may include dog and human, we don’t know)
     • Hotdog, graham crackers and marshmallow subscriptions
     • One extra large cooler
5. An Assortment of Science-backed Anti-aging Stuff
   • Longevity Pills (that could also end you prematurely)
   • Cryotherapy Chambers (you may also freeze to death)
   • Epigenetic Reprogramming (Yamanaka Factors)
     • Disclaimer: While we believe our guys know what they are doing, if a cell loses its identity inside your body, it stops doing its job. This can lead to rapid tumor growth (cancer) and end you prematurely

Our next tyrant is gonna be a Black guy, because I think so far we only have one on the list and tyranny is, unfortunately, an equal-opportunity human malfunction.

I wonder if history has given us any Black women tyrants?

It’s gonna get up to 37 degrees tomorrow. Cool down!

Mon Jun 29

Photo by Tom PREJEANT on Unsplash

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