Hello! My name is Sam! How may I be of service? In a drama-free way.
There’s so much human behaviour/relationship shit I truly don’t get. And every now and then something happens to remind me. It’s so confusing. I feel odd. I wanna cry. Remember that Sesame Street song …
🎶
UGH!
One of these things is not like the others
Three of these things are kinda the same
One of these things just don’t belong here
Now it’s time to play our game
It’s time to play our game
Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.
Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do. Do.
🎶
If I don’t belong here, where do I belong? I belong at work – I feel at home with my co-workers. I think they get me and I can crack jokes and be my whole self around them. My kids get me too – Dre especially, and he’s the one I torment most! lol. I told him his kid’s gonna be like me, and he said, “God! Please no!”
Can you believe it!
Often I feel misunderstood. Recently B2 misunderstood me. That was 20% frustrating and 100% sad – sad because he didn’t believe me when I told him I didn’t mean it in the manner he took it. Why would I lie?
Being misunderstood stinks like a mix of
Sam
rotten cabbage, burnt hair and durian!
You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I don’t wanna get used to it! I wanna be loved. I feel grown enough for a long-term relationship, but I don’t have much experience in that area. And how am I supposed to get experience!? Maybe a long-term romantic relationship isn’t ready for me.
Unfortunately, last week, I witnessed how people’s past relationship baggage can affect their outlook – But I am not like every other woman he’s ever been with. I’m Sam the Weirdo (according to the boys.), which is part of the reason why I struggle in the romance area. So far, I’m still playing for keeps, hopefully, I’m not playing alone.
One misunderstanding does not a relationship break. But you know, we’re in the early days, we barely know each other, it could be a crapshoot. The other day, Dre and I were having a convo, and he ended it by saying, “You’re different. And because you don’t realize how different you are you’re going to continue to have issues communicating with people.”
“Gee, thanks for your vote of confidence in my abilities to say shit without alienating anybody.”
Let’s talk about something else before I really start bawling. I wish this didn’t affect me so.
Tuesday, as in tomorrow, will be my first attempt at open mic … I have a strong feeling I will go, but I won’t get on stage. But maybe I won’t go cause it’s supposed to snow – that rhymes (can you hear me chuckling). lol hehe. Open Mic Battle Parts:
- Picking my poem(s) (this one’s appropriate given how I feel at the moment)
- Going to the thing
- Getting on stage at the thing
- Getting off stage (this will be the easiest part unless I freeze)
semper fidelis
Mon Jan 08
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