Say Sam

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When I grow up, I’m gonna be a shiny happy people laughing.

Shit I Should Keep to Myself …

I know it’s been a longer than usual while since we spoke, but I was busy finding an emotional support sex animal. Yes! They have those. After you pick your animal, you get to take them home and try them for five nights, kinda like how you can try mattresses. This ESSA is my Plan B for when B2 is not available.

This week I am trialling a porcupine. Yes! Say what you want but the sex is good. My only concern is that I may prefer animal sex over human sex … then I will have to break up with B2, unless … he might be interested in a threesome. For the record, I wanna say, I’ve dated dogs so exploring other animals doesn’t seem so far-fetched to me.

Dre said my entire blog is scary and
Matt is concerned people won’t get the animal sex/dog joke.
I don’t give a shit.

I applied to be an animal sex trainer, but I failed the psych eval.

Dad Got Me a Book …

That’s my Dad’s handwriting

2023 version – more jokes to come yo!

Dad’s hand again – this is how he’d sign all my books since me was kid

Also, this week I started a new part-time job rolling logs, and I gotta be really very careful cause I cannot swim. My insurance is badass yo – got me disability and accidental death and bonus, I get to learn the log driver’s waltz.

🎶

… Now I’ve had my chances with all sorts of men
But none as so fine as my lad on the river
So when the drive’s over, if he asks me again
I think I will marry my log driver

For he goes birling down and down white water
That’s where the log driver learns to step lightly …

🎶

I don’t usually make New Year’s resolutions, but I’m gonna … it’s all about my creative life in 2024. My bday is coming up – Bossman took me out for lunch on Tuesday. Last week I got a Nikon Coolpix p900 from one of Dee’s friends for 280$ – she threw in a tripod and a camera bag. Sweet deal. I’m familiarizing myself with camera terms, like lens and zoom.

For my artist date, I went to AGO but forgot they closed at 1700 hrs. All I was able to see was a few photos in the Arnold Newman exhibit.