Proxymoron

… That’s when your proxy server keeps letting all the wrong traffic in. Bad proxy! Bad! – I got lots of IT jokes (or sayings if you not laughing. but that shit’s funny!)

On my way to work this morning, I imagined my script didn’t make any of my classmates laugh and the teacher told me to get out and never try to do anything funny again and I got banned from Second City … then I went home, looked at their alumni website and bawled my soul out.

🎶

Well, I’m not paralyzed, but I seem to be struck by you
I wanna make you move because you’re standin’ still
If your body matches what your eyes can do
You’ll probably move right through me on my way to you


🎶

Paralyzer by Finger Eleven

I also imagined playing a trick on my future boy, who will be my friend, by telling him he snores and I will play a recording to prove it but the recording will be some demonic growling – whatever I can get from a horror movie. lol. Also, today I learned about daytime parties in Toronto. I think they’re lame (daytime parties and the person who told me about them).

While we were breaking – I presented my book fridge to Jer and Bossman. Jer invested 200% and Bossman said, “That’s not an original idea you ass and I have a video to prove it!” He’s always like that with everything I do – He’s died gruesome deaths many times in my imagination.

If you are interested in seeing the fridge, which is cool, pun intended, but it don’t have AI/MI capability and integration to delivery apps and worse of all … it don’t resemble like a book. Look for 1956 Frigidaire Refrigerator Ice Box Commercial.

🎶

I’ll cherish the old rugged cross
Till my trophies at last I lay down
I will cling to the old rugged cross
And exchange it some day for a crown


🎶

Rando Church Song
WTF! I was so creeped out I went to work without showering.

My next door neighbour has a package that’s been sitting outside their door for over a week. They come and go but no one is bringing the box inside. I’m wondering if I can take it but then I wonder if it might be infected with bedbugs or arsenic or dynamite.


Me: You wanna hear a joke?

Dre: Are you gonna tell me anyway?

Me: Yes!

Dre: Go ahead.

Me: Are you awake?

Something’s wrong with me, right? I shouldn’t find that funny anymore. OMG, but it still is.


There was this guy on the subway – at 3:15 pm the train was packed, and for some reason, he couldn’t say “excuse me” but he expected everyone to move out of his way with gestures and grunts. It worked.

Our Sales Director did a good job at something like a presentation – I am going to offer him my sex services for free and he can bring his girlfriend/sister/wife.

Kudos to our SD!

Thu May 18, 2023

© 2023 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.

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