A Song – Waiting to be Sung

It’s sad to think but my drawing may have to recline a bit for the next few months while I incorporate more exercise and get my brain used to making appropriate nutrition decisions without much effort (habit).

I had an awful dream … brown domestic sewage water fell from the sky and messed up my bedroom. I had to throw out my bed, rugs. I don’t recall any damage to my electronics or books. During the clean up, an old woman was using the toilet – she was just sitting there watching.

Mosttimes, working with people is difficult for me because my ability to speak for them to understand is underdeveloped (have I known that my entire life? – Is this why writing matters to me?) Although, if I can be an objective bystander for a moment, there are times when folks pick up what I’m putting down immediately.

Things that get in the way of us understanding each other:

  • Agendas (Our priorities aren’t aligned)
  • Schedules (Not dedicating enough time to the thing that needs attention)
  • Distractions (A thing might feel urgent but it’s not important)
  • Inadequate listening skills, on both sides, are likely to play a role
  • We approach things differently

When I have interactions that leave me feeling slightly or plenty icky – I reflect and wonder what I could have done differently or better or not at all. With the knowledge that what works for one may not work for the other. I personally, hate the feeling of stagination and that nagging sense that I am not making progress … To give my feeling a face:

I’m a discarded tire
with a puddle of dirty, mosquito making water
in somebody’s yard of junk

But I don’t want to be useless –
I’d rather get cleaned up
painted azure with lots of sparkles
to represent the day and night sky
and become a flower pot

unfuck my life

Anyhow – based on today’s reflection, I believe I’ve created a solution that will aid my communicating on this particular thing. AND bonus, this solution will also help others when they are communicating intra or inter personally. I’m not gonna get too excited until I am sure it works. Stay tuned!

Also, Dee had an incident at work and I am happy she came out the other side with a new outlook; better and more positive than the one she had before. At least I can help one child!

And remember …
when people behave the way they do,
it says everything about them
and absolutely nothing about you.

May that permeate all chakras

As for my other children? Well … the countdown continues.

I ran out of stars! 😦

This year, Matt will be 17 and Dre will be 20. I’m gonna write a song to celebrate my freedom. Something like …

🎶 parents hand batons to their children – relay batons not police ones – and carry them when they were young, same as how Jesus carried someone in the footprints in the sand poem. But I ain’t him so now I gotta drop yr ass cause you’re grown or you think you are. Either way, I’ve had enough of your shit and muy pronto I need for this relationship to be over! Goodbye! 🎶

2023.10.12 (Thu)

— Samantha Williams —

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