Merry Christmas

With all meals long digested … I hope you received exactly what you didn’t expect and hated it but had to pretend you loved it cause everyone was watching. Over time you could learn to like it or lose it. But losing it will hurt your partner’s feelings. Henceforth …

You will live a loathsome life because this “gift” will continue to be disgusting, leading to fits of projectile vomiting and diarrhea every time you come into contact with it. Worry not my friend; you don’t have to be bottomless for diarrhea to project, it is forceful enough to rip a hole through whatever you’re wearing. (omg I can see it.)

Eventually, your partner will leave you; they figured you were just pretending with every episode. Now you are a shell of your former self, with esophageal and erectumtile dysfunctions from chronic emesis and the not-hot-trots. Never to receive a gift from anyone ever again.

No gift receipt for you!

DALL-E’s oil painting of my pets having Christmas dinner

I don’t know what’s on the table but it looks like meat – I guess it’s alright if herbivores eat meat one day out of the year right? Musta been the rats who cooked dinner. And the two guys in the back, to the right of the pink rabbit look like roosters or guinea pigs with hats. You shouldn’t wear a hat at the dinner table. You also shouldn’t put your hat on a bed. Don’t ask me why! You can do it if you want but something awfully gross will happen to your head. That! I know.

Have you heard the saying, women shouldn’t buy shoes for their boyfriends because they will walk right out of the relationship. I suspect it applies to girlfriends too yes?

Dre and I were supposed to watch Fightworld on Netflix but he fell asleep. Anyhow, I will be going to bed early too. Maybe check out Animal Crossing for a bit then sleep.

Jokes involving vomiting, diarrhea and farts never get old. I can’t get over them.

Sun Dec 25, 2022

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