I Got Lots

Why is the time on the lock screen so massive! Why! Is everyone with an iPhone visually impaired all of a sudden! It’s this mediocre customization – “You can have these fonts for this thing only and sorry but, you cannot resize it.” I don’t even like any of the shitty clock fonts they selected for me …


Whenever I hear people refer to men as dogs, I imagine everyone at a park – dogs playing the field, looking for new temporary owners and owners arguing over ownership of different dogs.

“‘Sup sexy! I’m here with my owner, but I wouldn’t mind coming home with you!”

“Hey! Let’s sneak off and do it behind that tree.”

“Where you going with that dog! He’s mine!”


Today I learned that it is easier for me to write about my feelings than talk about them. Expressions of anger not included. I tend to gloss over hurt and deep sadness. Sometimes I will joke about it, or I won’t talk about it, not even to you. I’m on the verge of tears for no reason all day. I’ll wait for it to go away. At least I’m functioning.

Usually, I can be open with my therapist and psychiatrist – I know that’s not gonna come back to me until … one day at Union station

“Sam! long time. How’s it going?”

“I’m …” Before I can finish the person she’s with chimes in loud AF.

“Is that Sam the necrophile?” Time stops.

I look at her. Tears in my eyes. “I told you that shit in confidence yo!!!” Then I run.



“Please welcome SamJam to the stage!”
(sparse clapping from the back)

Thank you! … (clears throat)
This one’s titled Take Me Home

I’ve got issues. Running outta tissues
’tis Sue’s
She don’t want me using no more of her tissue
But she ain’t never tried to walk in this shoe
It’s the only pair I got
Sue kicked me out knowing I ain’t got no place to go
And that’s why
(uncomfortably long pause followed by heavy sighs AND mic feedback)
… I’ve got … … … issues

Take Me Home. Please and Thank you!


(sparser clapping from the back)

That was inspired by a clip I saw today that made me laugh and wanna eat chips.

Whenever Dre has housework pending, he ends up in the washroom on the toilet. “My stomach hurts.” Then he’s gone for hours. Port-o-Potty.

I hope you had a good day!

Fri Sep 23, 2022

2 thoughts on “I Got Lots

Add yours

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Powered by WordPress.com.

Up ↑

%d bloggers like this: