Home Sick

The internet connection is terrible sometimes. It rained for part of the day and it’s supposed to rain tonight too. It’s much cooler now – thank goodness! Dad and I went for a quick walk to the Jamaican restaurant. I only cooked for myself one day since I’ve been here.

All I did was read, watch movies, worked on some art and a few poems. I miss home already and the boys and the pets. Can I actually go away for months to France alone? Well! I’m gonna. And so what if I get lost, once I don’t get Taken everything will be alright!

DREADED VISITS

I realized that I don’t like having to visit people when I go away. I want to do my thing, which sometimes is nothing, but that’s ok cause I am on vacation. I don’t want to have to go visit you! You can come see me if you wish. And too, what are we even gonna talk about?

“Oh. Hi. Yeah, it’s nice to see you.”

“Nice to see you too.”

“How long you staying?”

As long as I wanna! “I’m leaving next Saturday.”

“How are the kids?”

UGH! “Thems good.” I wouldn’t say that. I only speak bad English to you.

I hate small talk. Then we sit there and stare at each other, only now, I’m the one feeling uncomfortable, and all I wanna do is get outta there. 

FAMILY GATHERINGS

My uncle’s 50 anniversary was last weekend, and they had a party. Dad had asked me if I wanted to go because he was going to be in Canada at the time. While here, I told him I didn’t want to go because I don’t know nobody. “But it’s your family!” He says. But they are still people I don’t know. 

“You get to know people by talking to them.”

Well! I don’t wanna know nobody then! I like small gatherings where I am not obligated to stay, and when I am ready, I could disappear, either leave or find somewhere quiet where I don’t have to talk to anyone.

That may be why many of my friends are people I’ve met at work. It’s not like I can avoid talking to folks in that environment, especially in a project management capacity. And I love going out in small groups for dinner/drinks. One-on-one is best, but I can do three to five without feeling overwhelmed. 

MORE TALKS WITH RANDOS

Mom used to make me talk to people. When anyone called her, She’d say, “Sam is here! A gon le she say hi to you.”

And the whole time, I vigorously shake my head and mouth, “NO. I don’t want to talk to anybody.” She gives me the phone anyway. Then after the dreaded convo, mom would look at me, “But why you caan say hi to the people!?”

lol. Those were the days! 

My sister gets me and my kids. My dad does too, for the most part. 

Sun Jun 12, 2022