Beat Down

Hung out at Gyu-Kaku with the fam to celebrate Matt getting into the drama program. After dinner, we stopped at FreshCo then headed home. 

While standing in my foyer, I decided I wanted soda. Not just any soda; I was craving the new blackberry ginger-ale. I get on the elevator, it stops on the 16th floor, and dude in a blue mask makes the “can I come in” motion with a pointing finger and head nod. “Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!” I said, smiling with my eyes. 

Everything’s going good; we almost to the lobby. I’m so happy. I’m bouncing with anticipation, blackberry ginger-ale here I come. The elevator stops on the second floor. WTF! This muthafucka better be handicap or have a shit tonne a bags. I swear to Jesus.      

The elevator doors open to this lanky SOB wearing a royal blue and white jogging suit, pants above ankles, with flip flops and keys in his hand. KEYS! He takes a step forward like he’s about to get in. I step forward with my hands up, palms out in a “wait a minute” motion and say,

“Are you disabled?” He looks at me like he doesn’t understand my question. So I rephrased it. “Motherfucker! Are you disabled?” By now, the guy I rode down with stepped out of the elevator and is walking toward the stairs. Still not having answered my question, dude tried a sidestep to get in the elevator; I hockey shoulder-checked him. Now we’re in the hallway, he’s against the wall and I am delivering blow after blow on his lazy ass.

I left him on the floor, groaning face all bloody with a few teeth on the tile, legs all fucked up. “Now you qualify to take the elevator from the second-floor bitch.” I pushed the button for him and took the stairs.

FYI: It drives me crazy when empty-handed, able-bodied people take the elevator from the tenth floor down. I’m gonna snap. When I get more fit, I will flip out from the seventeenth floor – I’ll ride the elevator all day just to beat people up. What! You got on at five to go up to seven!?!?! You’re dead!


Undone

I was having trouble with the eyes so I drew one instead and made her into an AlligatorWoman or WomanGator, not sure which way she’s going. I will add some animation, just simple, make her hair band blow – must stop trying to finish piece in one sitting.

Kneeling Female in Orange-Red Dress – Egon Schiele

Now I leave you with a joke from your one and only!

Why is the door a-jar?

Because people need to open it!

Sam

Soon I will have to do my first self-portrait.

Fri Mar 4, 2022

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