Sun Oct 31:
sniff, sniff, sniff. food? not food. sniff, sniff, sniff. food? not food. sniff, sniff, sniff. food? not food. – The life of Zoe. She’s getting stronger, even venturing off the carpet now and can get up to the second level of her cage. And for some reason she likes having her feet in the food bowl while eating. Whatever makes you happy.
I have one more week to get my shit together. This Sunday was a wash. I’m disappointed with myself. Planned to do a whole bunch of things but instead I did nothing .
In the process of working on my schedule, I found an article about neurodivergent people that really resonated with me. There are so many things they talk about in this article that reminds me of me but over the years, I’ve found ways to cope. I wonder if my entire family is autistic/adhdic – I never even heard of neurodivergent
Coping with our differences in perception of time … Many of these challenges are compensated with strategies such as continually checking the time, obsessively being aware of it, meticulously tracking events or tasks and extreme punctuality.
I get stressed all the time – cause I always feel like I don’t have enough time to do shit. I hate when people rush me, especially at work. Like don’t spring some last minute shit on me and tell me you need it now! To me, my current boss seems to rush through his day, just seeing him always in a hurry stresses me out – but that works for him. Same like seeing people, including my ex-boss, running for their GO Train – I just don’t understand it. But getting back to me – I overestimate and underestimate shit all the time. I will leave one room to get something and by the time I walk to the other room I’ve forgotten what I went for.
When I was a child my mom would tell me to go back where I came from to remember what I wanted to do and it worked – it still works. I wonder if mom discovered that by mistake. Or maybe my grandmother told her what to do 🙂
Maybe this is why, I rely on writing things down so much and I am always triple checking everything, and tasking everything, especially work stuff. I always feel like I am going to forget something important and then I’m fucked! . I shared the site with the kids. I used to use post-it notes a lot because they are right in my face and I love the different colours – now I rely on OneNote/Microsoft ToDo and Asana.
I am mostly happy with how I function except for when I don’t function – like today. Once my non-functioning happens on my time and not anyone else’s I will be alright. Is this why wasting other people’s time bothers me.
I’ll keep reading. Ok so, on another note. Last Friday, my doctor told me I am taking too much melatonin. She told me to go back down to 10 from 20 mg. I would have just kept doubling that shit. lol. Hmmm … maybe that’s not funny. Could I have died? But there’s no max usage warning on the bottle – do they figure people would know better? Clearly I didn’t.
My sleep-wake cycle went to hell like my cardio and not even 10 mg of melatonin can bring it back. Doc reminded me that I still have to try CBT for insomnia.
Sat Oct 30:
Sorry about yesterday – I watched Paranormal Activity: Next of Kin with Matt last night – One hour and forty minutes of our lives we cannot get back. What rubbish. Then I just went to lie down for a few minutes and it was 2:00 am when I woke up.
I have a confession to make. Two.
First, I don’t like yoga pants. For a while I thought there was something wrong with me cause yoga pants are ubiquitous – everyone loves yoga pants, except me. Today I went to the gym in the shorts I usually wear around the house and I felt great. Now, for sure I know I prefer to workout in lose fitting clothing, and I like shorts over longs . Tomorrow I am going to shop for shorts, tights that are a bit longer than my shorts and a bunch of tee-shirts.
Second, I like the feeling of exclusivity. Isn’t that awful? I miss Equinox, with the eucalyptus towels and the steam room and the whole feel of the club was different. I’m a hypocrite because part of me understands the importance of inclusion and making people feel they belong but I also like being part of something that everyone isn’t. I will have to live with my contradiction (I may have others that I am not aware of). I’d like to believe making people feel safe, accepted and providing a sense of belonging is more important to me.
🎶 They’re Pinky and the Brain. One is a genius. The other’s insane. They’re laboratory mice. Their genes have been spliced. They’re Pinky. They’re Pinky and the Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. Brain. 🎶
I bought a rat condo. It’s a big cage with four levels – I will take a pic and show you.
Had a fab workout then I ate cake 🙁
Should be getting my vegan meal plan sometime next week. This is the first time dude’s done on so it is taking longer. 🎶 Learning while you’re working. Learning while you’re working 🎶
Thu Oct 28:
I took the day off tomorrow. I have no plans; will be going to the gym for 4:00 pm. So far, I haven’t done any of these exercises before. I’m really happy about that.
In addition to my refrigerator that opens like a book so I can see everything as I flip the “pages.” I woke up this morning with a new idea … Ready?!?!
The Handicap … If you lose your bottle cap or your head cap or a cap for anything that is cap-able, you can use The Handicap. I’m not sure what it will be made out of yet but it has to be stretchable and unstretchable (that’s the opposite right?) because it has to be able to cover any size thing.
Let’s say you forgot your winter hat, you pull out your Handicap. Voila! Your head is cozy and warm. But then, on your way to wherever you are going, you stop for coffee and while you are walking to the wherever, this huge gust of wind comes out of nowhere and blows the lid off your coffee cup. In addition to wondering where that strange gust came from, you start to panic because how are you supposed to get to wherever while keeping your coffee hot and not spilling one drop. Voila! Just as quickly, you remembered the other Handicap in your bag! Problem solved!
Voila! Cover anything cap-able with the new Handicap – Available Now!!! At a store near you!
(Makes a great gift. Doubles as a mini desk and a wonderful toy for babies. Just make sure they don’t cap their face because the Handicap is not that kind of breathable. Or … you could pretend you missed the warning – accidents happen from time to time.)
From: Sam Williams and Wax
This is why I need to draw!
BTW I am certain now that Prozac affects my creativity. I was too busy dancing to take my pills and look at the fantastic idea I came up with. That’s not scientific proof I know but still.
Matt’s new favorite dish is sloppy joes. The boys still have to learn the subtle art of cleaning while cooking. But I’m not complaining. One thing at a time. Last night Dré walks into the kitchen and says,
“Matt! The kitchen is a mess!”
“So is your life nigga!”
That shit was hella funny and he came back with it quick!
I think it is going to take me about another two weeks to get used to this new schedule and get all my things I want to do back in order. Since I was thinking about staying up all night and watching movies since I don’t have to work tomorrow, but that is not a good idea … so I will still go to bed for 10 pm … which leaves me lots of time for French and Python.
Too Doo Loo 🙂
Wed Oct 27:
Listen! Watch! I have so much energy right now it is unbelievable – In the last few years, after I workout, I just wanna sleep. Today yo! TODAY YO!!! I should be in a club, or having group sex or some shit! (I’m joking about the club 😂)
🎶 Go shorty, it’s ya birthday. We gon party like it’s yr birthday. You can find me in the club, bottle full of bub. Mami I got the X if you into takin’ drugs. I’m into havin’ sex, I ain’t into makin’ love so come give me a hug 🎶 50 on that treadmill. Damn! I’ll save my fantasies for later.
I’m assuming you need more energy for group sex vs two people sex – Did I ever tell you I wanna make postcards?
Worstest day of my life ever! I missed the opportunity to go for a drink with my boss. It was supposed to be three of us but Jer had to go home cause he got wife and child obligations. (poor bastard) But guess what! The restaurant didn’t accept the receipts I got from Shoppers. I asked them if they’d take my word for it … dude said no! Can you believe it! I’m not a liar.
Then my boss showed me what the receipts are supposed to look like – Nothing like that did I get. Anyway, dude was gonna go home, then he changed his mind and went for a drink alone; that move reminded me of dad. When dad comes to visit and I’m busy, or just don’t feel like leaving the house, he’ll go to the nearest bar on his own and probably make some new friends.
Boohoo – I called Shoppers AGAIN when I got home and told them that the email they sent me wasn’t accepted and I didn’t have an actual receipt attached to the email. Funny thing is, the last restaurant I went to accepted it. But my boss said they shouldn’t have. Good news: I got it sorted … First Shoppers couldn’t find me, just like the last time. Then something was wrong with my health card number – the system wouldn’t accept it. Turns out, there were duplicate records in their system and the woman called whoever on my behalf and got them to merge the records and Cadabra!!!
🎶 I got my vaccine proof. I got my vaccine proof 🎶
I’m gonna go dance!!!
Tue Oct 26:
Guess what! My coworker in the US loves to travel and he’s been to France and Japan. I got a few great suggestions from him on trips today. 🙂 He’s my new travel consultant! lol. Also, I cannot install Windows 11 yet – my IT guy told me to wait! 🙁 (technically he’s everybody’s IT guy but I like how “my” sounds)
I remembered breakfast this morning – almonds, grapes, chia seeds and, Vega Protein+Greens shake. Yay! But I had lunch and dinner late and I didn’t snack. Eating snacks makes me snackable yes!
NEWSFLASH: We caught Snow. I’m so glad the new trap worked. She looks unhappy. “I cannot live my best life in a cage. How bout you let me out!” 🙁
Some of us have mental cages; we put restrictions on ourselves and we may not even realize it. I don’t care what your mom or dad, did or didn’t do. Or maybe you were an orphan. 🎶 It’s a hard knock life for us 🎶 But now you’re an adult:
I write memoirs until dinner; I dine late. After dinner, I ride on horseback. In the evening I listen to fairy tales, and thereby I am compensating for the insufficiencies of my accursed upbringing.
Alexander Pushkin
🎶 I’m an adult now 🎶How are you compensating? I hope you are doing shit that’s good for you and not bad. i.e.: “AA” is good for you but “A” is not.
Unless you are part of … 🎶 the Alkaholiks got the beats that I’ll make you daaam! 🎶
Today in Python: I learned all about strings and finding stuff inside a string and manipulating strings using the method functions in class ‘str.’ At the start of course two, everything felt disconnected but now I can see how it will make sense later.
Matt wants me to get Popeyes for him to try the Megan sandwich. smh
There are so many poets and short story writers out there … it’s a-maze-ing 🙂
I didn’t draw today
Goodbye
Mon Oct 25:
I almost forgot to eat breakfast this morning.
Snow and Zoe woke me up around midnight. so right from the start I was three hours behind schedule. I’m not sure what time I got back to sleep but I didn’t hear my 5:00 am alarm. Got out of bed at 8:00 am.
Zo doesn’t like being groomed by a rat. I was happy to see that Snow is in the apartment. I was getting worried that maybe she found a way out and I would have had to tell the Super. When you’re allowed to have pets, the first thing that comes to mind are cats and dogs for most people I think. Who would want a snake and a rat for a pet.
I had to buy another trap, she triggered the last one and after that she just walks around them like, ” You fuckers think I’m stupid! I’m living my best life bitch! 🎶Ain’t no stopping me now.🎶”
Made it to the gym yo! At around noon I thought I wasn’t going to go; but I took a nap from 4-5:30 pm then I jumped out of bed to Savage and got going.
I met a lady in the sauna. It felt extra hot today, I couldn’t stay in as long. Today I realized I could read while in the sauna and to and from the gym – that will give me my 1hr +
I am sleepy. Dré thinks I’m too much into true crime and that’s why I say violent shit.
Do fruit flies taste fruity?
Cheers! To living your best life!
Sun Oct 24:
Sometimes I wonder how the overall management of COVID would have been if we were all Earth Citizens. Specifically around the communications, vaccine distributions and general ignorance – including discrimination. It likely would have been mismanaged, not sure if to a greater or lesser degree, because humans are the common denominator.
Within “Earth Citizen,” I am making all kinds of assumptions about human behaviour – we’re no longer sexist, racist, greedy, etc.
Often, my optimism and sunshiny outlook on life are challenged by people’s behaviour. By no means am I perfect – I cannot tell if all this sounds self-righteous or not, but it’s not meant to be. I also wonder the same things about climate change – the big things that affect all of us.
My head hurts from trying to put together a schedule for myself. So far, I’ve written down all of my activities and figured out that, after working and sleeping, I only have:
- Nine hours left of the twenty-four during the week and
- Seventeen hours on the weekend.
I feel like the Boy, “What about my free time?!?!”
“Fuck your free time!” lol.
What does free time mean anyway? Isn’t that the time you have to do the stuff you want to do? Don’t I want to get fit, and learn to draw, and speak different languages (including Python). So why when I look at this damn schedule, I feel like I am going to be missing out on … I don’t even know what! It’s not like I have dudes lined up for dates, so why am I feeling so strange? ugh!!!
And now I am back to doing my own laundry cause Matt’s just straight up trying to rob me. Wash and fold muthafucka. Wash and fold. I don’t get why he expects me to pay extra for folding.
Well … it’s officially time for me to get ready for bed. Good night!
Sat Oct 23:
Have you ever slept under a mosquito net? I was never good at getting under the net without letting a few mosquitos in.
Goodness! My body is officially younger than my age; according to my trainer. At first I thought he was joking, so I started laughing. Then he said, “No. I’m serious.” Beaming and Beaming and Beaming and Beaming … We didn’t use any weight machines, which was surprising for me – it was all HIIT and CrossFit and TRX. Everything burns!!!
Can you get naked in front of strangers? People who walk around naked scare me … This ain’t a fuckin’ sex club. It’s a change room in a gym. Change bitch!
I’m supposed to be eating six times a day – three meals and three snacks. And I have to Art, and I have to Python, and I have to French and I have to Sleep and I have to Work. Dude told me to make a schedule for myself 🙁 I should be eating around the same time everyday. I cannot skip any meals. Breakfast is a must have! AND … In addition to my five days at the gym, I also have to do an extra 45 minutes of cardio a day – I think I will stick with what my boss suggested with the stairs and walking more. Hmmmmm … I will start working on my schedule.
Whenever I introduce something new, it is difficult for me to readjust. Some weird shit happens in my head and I will stop doing all the things I used to do. But I don’t want to stop arting and pythoning and frenching and movie watching. (BTW! For the record. I think French kissing is gross!)
This is going to be a challenge but I am up for it.
Discipline – Consistency – Results
Sam
Let’s Get It On!
🎶 A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down, in the most delightful way. 🎶
Did you ever see that episode where Peter didn’t know how to use a toothpick and Lois yelled at him? I feel like Peter sometimes you know. There are basic people things I should know but I don’t. It feels as if no one included me in the training, I don’t know how you learn these things. At the moment I cannot think of an example, but as it happens I will tell you.
I think Ratatouille is depressed. She’s not interacting with us as much as she used to and she’s not eating; even before Snow got here she was more playful. Now she just sits in her house. Rats are hoarders. And Snow is still in the heater. The trap didn’t work. We will try again tonight with peanut butter. Can you die from loneliness?
Rabbit whiskers tickle my feet.
Fri Oct 22:
Snow is living her best life in the base heater, according to Dré. She pulled out all the whatever that stuff is that looks like cotton in the walls. Yesterday she was able to travel between my room and Dré’s via the heater pipes. I was able to plug up the spaces in my room so now she’s stuck in his and I picked up two live mouse traps but she’s smart and extremely cautious, if it doesn’t work the first time, it might never work. She can’t stay in the there over the winter though, because as it gets colder they will turn up the heat.
WARNING: Lots of A-GAINS below I know, but I am confident I will find the formula that works. It only took me forty-seven years … and counting
I can’t remember if I told you, but earlier this year, or it coulda been last year, dad told me to move money out of my savings and pay off my high interest debts. I was like, “Nah. I will just stop adding to my savings and use that money to pay off my debts.” Well, since I am an ex over spender that money didn’t go to my savings and it also didn’t exactly go to my debts. Sometimes I did make payments but it wasn’t consistent enough to make a dent and now it is almost the end of 2021 and here I am. Only a tincy, wincy bit better off than I was when the year started.
Finally, yesterday, I took my dad’s advice. Finally!!! AND AGAIN … I am going on a cash diet, because I don’t run up the credit YET AGAIN! Then my savings would be depleted and AGAIN I would not have achieved my goal.
I am very proud of Dee with her credit in the 850 range but I wanna be there too. She inherited her grandfather’s money gene. (do you think there is such a thing?) So … of my three credit cards, I’ve officially closed one; it wasn’t benefiting me in any way – no cash back, no rewards, no nothing.
For a long time I said I was saving it for emergencies … like real emergencies you know – Buying fast food and random shit off Amazon counts right! “Oooh look! A pink rhinestone studded tree collar.”
“Sam! Why would you even ever need a tree collar? What’s it for?
“I don’t know. But! I could repurpose it you know. Maybe I could collar my laptop or maybe hang it off my bag.”
“Oooh look! A bird cage!”
“Sam! You don’t even have a bird.”
“I know but the bars are so pretty. And look at the little decorative details. And the swing. Awwwww. OMG! One day I might want a bird. In the meantime it will make a pretty addition to the living room AND look, it can double as a bookshelf – I can put my book on top and on the shelf below. It could even make an interesting Christmas tree. AND look. It has wheels. I can use it to transport heavy stuff from one room to the next!’
Examples of how I talk myself into buying things I don’t need.
I am happy to say that I have paid the balance and destroyed the card. AND I have also gotten rid of my line of credit and paid my two remain cards so the balance is below 30%. I asked Dee to hold onto my two remaining credit cards.
Tomorrow evening is my first day with the trainer. Hooray!
Would you like to live in a sauna or a steam room?
I would prefer a steam room – everything is always wet. All my furniture is made out of tile. Electronics wrapped in plastic and I have a separate space, like a police interrogation room, to watch my favourite shows from the other side of the glass. Waking up like I just got out the tub, sweating during my online meetings, going to bed wet. Since I’m always sweating, I wouldn’t need to shower anymore. When people come to visit, they gotta get naked outside first. (I don’t provide towels, but you’re welcome to bring your own.) Guests can only stay for like twenty minutes at a time. Perfect!
Yo! Next time I will plan a steam room cookout.
Crap – there was something else I wanted to tell you. ugh!
Thu Oct 21:
🎶 Purple haze. Purple haze. Purple haze. Purple haze. I only want to see you laughing in the purple haze. 🎶
Went to the gym bright and early this morning to use the sauna. Remember earlier this week I said I slept for six hrs – in talking to my boss today, I think it might be linked to the cardio … cause Tuesday we walked to the gym and I also did thirty minutes on the treadmill while I waited for for dude. So he, my boss, told me to do some cardio this evening after dinner and see what happens. I only made the connection after he was telling me of an article he read on cardio and sleep.
Saw pics of Glowbee in pink and yellow. So cute.
So … I took his advice and did the stairs – eighteen flights, down and up. Down and up:
DRAMA: Snow got out of her ball and is roaming around somewhere in the house. hopefully we find her tonight.
Wish me happy rat hunting 🙂
Wed Oct 20:
The Boy’s been doing shit without me having to ask or get into a long ass debate session about it. It only took eighteen years … let’s hope it last at least until he moves out. Zoe thinks my toes are treats – How did that happen? “Zo! Don’t bite me!” Rabbits don’t speak English.
I slept for six hours straight last night. Plus, I did not ask any questions during the dev-project meeting and I had four. I wrote them down instead and you know what, it wasn’t so bad. And if I really still wanna know the answer after the fact, I have lots of people I can ask. I was quiet and I waited and I wrote and I am still alive. Yay!!! (You should be hootin’ n’ hollerin’ right now!) It’s alright to have unanswered questions Sam. And the other good thing is, these questions aren’t going to be taking up space in my head, I won’t be coming back to them mentally because I wrote them down. I can go about my other business carefree.
This doesn’t mean I won’t address project or process related issues – but for product stuff, as much as I want to learn the product, my questions can wait; even or especially when, I have no idea what the team is talking about. Writing has always been my best friend. Writing to the rescue! 🙂
I had a beautiful chat with out CA – I like him and I understand his pessimism. It’s nice when people understand you eh. I also love that we can speak freely you know.
Lesson for today: Just because it looks messy, doesn’t mean it’s easy
Got myself a personal trainer, Thought about it for a while – Been trying to do the get fit shit on my own without the results I wanna see for too long . Since I hit ~ 45, this is the hardest it’s ever been in my life to get fit . Ever – I’m used to the fat melting off of me like butter in a hot pan. I make the decision, I do the work and I see the results – not anymore! Shit just got extra complicated and it doesn’t help that I overeat, undersleep and workout sporadically at best.
When I get tired of doing the same thing, I just stop. Also, I find that I don’t push myself in the same way I can push myself on everything else. With workouts, my brain quits before my body does – I could easily have 5-10 more reps but I will stop. After one workout, I’m in the mirror, “What the fuck! I just worked really hard just now, show me something!” Results are important to me – I get discouraged if I don’t see them quickly.
I was late for our first meeting because I didn’t factor that I am leaving from the office. Even though I packed my bags from last night, I still forgot my towel, my padlock, flip flops. During the session, as soon as she mentioned squats I said, “Can we do something else?” but I was thinking, “Listen! If “squats” exits your mouth one more time, I will break your fuckin’ legs then silence you permanently.” Squats are the only things I can do to strengthen my legs? Really!?!? I can’t believe that! Can I get some variety PLEASE!!!
three, two, one – I had to do the squats cause it part of their measurement baseline thing. I squashed the squats. Gots me some sweet muscles under this fat. All the weight stuff I was able to complete with some minor form adjustment on a few. Cardio on the other hand … As a former runner, I was embarrassed. I leave you with one word, PATHETIC. Seems my cardio went to hell and never came back … but it will now! Soon, easily, I can run for my life during the zombie apocalypse.
I measure everything against the ZA. If I can run my first marathon length by next spring, I will feel very good and that will establish my new personal best, then I will have to keep besting myself. Somewhere I read that you have to run at least fifteen marathons before you can be in ultra marathon training condition.
BTW – I still cannot convince the fam to play tag with me – When the ZA comes, I ain’t turning back for nobody!!!
Tue Oct 19:
I love the new Viagra commercials. Said no one ever! Ha!
🎶 Everybody take it to the top we gonna stomp. All night. In the neighborhood, don’t it feel alright. Gonna stomp. All night. Wanna partay till the morning light. Stomp! 🎶
Me was quiet in the townhall this morning but I had two questions and I managed to restrain myself from blurting out, “I have a question!” Hooray! And I guess too, we only had 30 min so, in thinking about the time I was able to stifle myself. I’m still alive though. And you know what, it’s ok if don’t get answers – although, the questions will remain, flapping about in my head like a disembodied lizard tail. Tomorrow is the big test at the dev-project meeting – I will live under the quiet toadstool, covered by the concise and succinct umbrella.
When I was younger, one of my teachers, I think it was my math teacher, would say, “No more questions today Samantha please.” And I would laugh and save them for next class or after school, or weekends in the park.
Sometimes I want to pet my rabbit, but does my rabbit what to be petted and sometimes I want to caress the rats, but do they want to be caressed – suppose my pets are screaming “harassment” but I cannot hear them?
🎶 Oh mister rat. Rat. Mister golden rat, please shine down on me. Mr. Rat. Rat. Mr. golden rat, hiding behind a cloudy tree. These little kids are all asking you, please come out so we can play with you. Oh Mr. Rat. Rat. Mr. golden rat. Please shine down on, won’t you shine down on, please shine down on meeeeeeeeeeee! 🎶
My co-worker who runs the office in Belarus also loves art and his uncle is an artist. Isn’t that neat. I think you will find that you have lots of things in common with people than you have out common with them. Cool right!!!
Bags are packed – to the office – ready I am to go. 🎶 You niggaz had enough. Gimme some more. Yo Spliff where the weed at. Gimme some more. You know we always need that. Even though we getting money you can gimme some more. Cars and the big cribs. Gimme some more. Everybody spread love. Gimme some more. If you want it let me hear you say, gimme some more … What what what what. What what what. 🎶
I have some more stuff to tell you but it will have to wait till tomaraw. I wanna watch a horror movie and go to bed before 10 pm.
Peace!
Mon Oct 18:
This morning I felt the need to tell my co-workers that I love them – so I did. Because I do! 🙂 AND … I love you too 🙂 I wonder if I am liberal with my “I Love Yous” because I didn’t hear it much as a child?
Last night I dreamt that I turned my bathroom into a steam room – woke up and tried it, but it didn’t work. I am still looking for a steam room and Dré is bugging me to get a gym membership because he needs heavier weights and they still haven’t finished the gym reno downstairs. Tomorrow we will check out LA Fitness – they have a sauna and a pool, which is cool and they are not too far away from home so I am happy about that and they are waaaaay cheaper than Equinox. (but I do miss their steam room a lot.)
I’m disappointed with the horror movie selection this October. I was watching Manor on Prime – a movie about a seventy year-old woman in a haunted seniors home. I couldn’t finish it. Not because it was stupid but because it was sad.
When I am officially a senior, if anybody tries to treat me like a child, I’ll fuckin’ kill ya! If you’re sitting around waiting for me to die, you’ll die first; a horrendously violent death [that will shock even hardened police officers]! (by my hands, just so we are clear.) If you’re disrespectful, you’ll disappear! Also … dead! I gotta put that out there. [and if you try to manhandle me, I’ll snap your neck]
Sam
I used to have lots of fun weight lifting/strength training/training for my runs – I don’t know what happened – Now? Yeah I workout but I do it half-heartedly because I know it’s good for me – I want to enjoy it again! I thought about getting a treadmill like some of my coworkers, but I know myself and that is going to get boring – I have to constantly switch things up. ugh!!! I’ll keep ya posted. I hurt my wrist again.
Matt counted my tattoos because his friend wanted to know how many I have.
I AM GOING TO SEE DUNE + MORBIUS + GHOSTBUSTERS AFTERLIFE +THE BATMAN + SPIDER-MAN: NO WAY HOME + HALLOWEEN SIXTY SEVEN THOUSAND AND THREE! – I tried watching the original Dune again the other day but I couldn’t – it’s too old. I feel like I already knew they were doing a remake of Dune, I musta forgot.
Hmmm … next to my ninja assassin army, I am going to have an army of rats – they are so cute and curious and quick learners – maybe I was a rat in my past life. Except … my memory is not so good.
Sun Oct 17:
Hello – I didn’t nap today – it’s 7:41 pm and I am ready for bed.
I enrolled in my second course but I am still seeking guidance on the last assignment – At the intro of the second course, the instructor says to make sure you don’t rush through things because it will get increasingly complicated. This week I will go back and redo all my assignments from course one – just to ensure I know Python like I know English so far. I know French better than I know Python right now – I find myself speaking to Python in plain English – which of course doesn’t work.
Maybe one day we will have a language where you tell it what you want and it writes the program for you – neat right!
I hope you had a good day – I am about to pass out! – Matt brought home cookies from The Night Baker – I only had half of a soft and delicious cookie. They’re all yummy.
Sat Oct 16:
FIRE!!! I’m stuck in a for loop and I can’t get out. ugh! so close. I wish I could show you my code with all the pretty colors. I think I will enroll in the second course anyway – Python Data Structures, and as I learn that may help me with the assignment. One more day I have – I didn’t do much today, except look at the code and yesterday or the day before I went over some of the lectures. The answer is in there. 🎶 I feel it in my bones. You’re knocking at my window. 🎶
I like going for walks early in the morning, before the sun comes up – just me walking, no music, no people, no companion.
Forgot to mention it yesterday …
I AM A NURSE
What’s your superpower!
nurse’s tee shirt
The nurse who gave my son his vaccine was wearing that. “I like your t-shirt!'” She smiles and says, “thank you!”
Do you wanna know what my superpower is? No! Well, I’m gonna tell you.
I MAKE PEOPLE SMILE X LAUGH X THINK
What’s your superpower!
Sam
Or maybe to some people, my superpower is being annoying AF with all my questions all the time. (I hope no one sees me that way.) Do we have any control over how others see us?
You know the other day when I mentioned men being on the menu – I have a feeling that might be sexist – Maybe if you wouldn’t want that to be said about a woman, then you shouldn’t say it about a man? I don’t know!!! had to educate myself a little bit – this too. BTW, my boss interrupts everybody BUT, he will call people out for interrupting others. Maybe he thinks that because he is the CEO or in a hurry, that makes it ok.
I never want to do anything that appears hypocritical or makes anyone feel like they don’t belong – If I do, call me out on it, including if your feeling get hurt. Hmmm … I am pretty sure I’ve said, “Your feelings are not my problem!” I may even have written it down somewhere. I don’t feel that way anymore – to a point. Speaking for myself, I shrug things off sometimes, “Oh. I’m being too sensitive.” “Maybe they didn’t mean it how I took it.” “My feelings are my responsibility after all, so if this hurts then something is wrong with me.” But I feel like when we are hurt, if we can admit it to ourselves first, it’s the perfect opportunity for self-reflection, you know. “Why is this thing hurting me?”
Since MY SUPERPOWER IS MAKING PEOPLE SMILE X LAUGH X THINK, I cannot also hurt their feelings, (I can make you think without hurting your feeling right?) otherwise … MY SUPERPOWER IS BEING A HYPOCRITE!!! Which would totally suck sweaty balls/boobs. BUT in order for me to be aware you have to tell me. If I’m being douchy tell me!
😍 Teach me how to treat you 😍
Sam
Many years ago, I had a boss who would fly out of his office and start yelling at the top of his lungs when something went wrong. Maybe because he just got yelled at by a client or his boss – I don’t know. The first time I became a target, I said, in an even tone “I don’t like when you talk to me like that.” We had a chat in his office afterward, and he never yelled at me again.
But guess what … he still came out of his office and yelled at everyone else. Which made no sense to me. If you can change your behavior with one person then you can change your behavior. I’m not telling you you can’t be angry or have no right to feel what you are feeling but how you behave matters and you can control that!
He was an asshole though – one of the guys that worked with me, Mike, he would always send him on coffee runs – like Mike was his bitch. “Mike! Coffee!” And Mike would drop what he was doing and go – unless he was on a call with a client; but right after the call was done, he’s out the door.
🎶 Baaaaaby they can’t play you cause I’ll save you with my superpower. Boy I’m only human but I’ll be your superwoman. 🎶 Or maybe … 🎶 I’m not your superwoman. I’m not the kinda girl that you can let down and think that everything is ok. 🎶
Do men sign songs about being a woman’s superman? At the moment I cannot think of any. 🎶 I’m your mama, I’m your daddy. I’m that nigga in the ally. I’m the doctor when you need, want some coke, have some weed. You know me, I’m your friend. Your main boy, thick and thin. I’m your pusherman 🎶(Sorry! That’s not the same thing).
There was this other guy named Chris – he was a fat cheesy smelling piece of shit … but that’s a story for another time. I really can’t stand bullies – it doesn’t matter how old they are or where they are!!!
Now my friend … I leave you with my superhuman song:
🎶 I’ll be the super shitstorm raining down on your fat moronic head with my trusty Axe Hammer of Truth that imparts knowledge of self and compassion or puts you in your graaaaaaaaaaaaave! Graaaaaaaaaaaaave! You can have it your way! Have it your way! Which is one of two ways. One of two ways! 🎶
Can you see me on stage? I feel like I could sing this to an Ace of Spades type beat.
xoxoxoxoxox – to the world and all the beautiful people in it. Don’t let anybody push you around eh! I want you to be happy, feel safe and accepted, at work, at home, in your community. So you have to make others feel safe and accepted too. Deal!
Fri Oct 15:
Yo! 🎶 I’m drinking rum and Red Bull. 🎶 jk. I went with the Boy so he can get his first vaccine and we both got lost. It’s like the friggin’ clinic was hidden away in some secret location. Reminded me of Cold Tea in the Kensington Market area – You can only get there if you’ve been there. Great place for third+ dates, BTW.
There was an LCBO in the mall. We walked by two or three times in the process of finding the damn clinic. Dré went to the bank. In the meantime, I shimmied around the mall and what do you know? LCBO! Again! I didn’t know Dré could see me from the bank. After we met up he said, “Mom! Don’t stand in front of the liquor store like that again. You looked like a recovering alcoholic.”
lmao.
Good news! I did not buy anything but … later we ordered food from Joey’s and I couldn’t resist the urge anymore. Got this Joiy Sparkling Bubbles Rosé Wine – 12% alc./250ml
Matt went out for dinner with Dee and Sabs
Sleep tight – it’s raining, perfect weather for sleeping yes!
Thu Oct 14:
An absolutely tragic morning – I swore it was Friday 😭 – and I hate when my keyboard emoji does not equal my screen emoji.
🎶 I came in the door, I said it before. I never let the mic magnetize me no more. But it’s biting me, fighting me, inviting me to rhyme. I can’t hold it back, I’m looking for the line. Taking off my coat, clearing my throat. The rhyme will be kicking until I hit my last note. My mind remains refined, with all kinda ideas, self-esteem makes it seem like a thought took years to build but still say a rhyme after the next one. Prepared, never scared, I’ll just bless one and you know that I’m the soloist. So Eric B. you make ’em clap to this 🎶
Memories of the 80s in NYC. I was in love with Rakim and his flow. Still am. When I first tasted Canadian pizza … “what the. This isn’t pizza.” I couldn’t wait to get back to New York
So … the last time I had the rabbits in the living room, I observed their behavior and I was reading about rabbit body language – Zoe and Archie cannot play together anymore.
The Boy went outside, got lost as usual and was fully trying to put blame on Google! “Where are you?”
“I don’t know where I am. I just see a bunch of stores.”
“Can you read!”
“Aaaaah. Ok. Ok. Oh I see … “
“Bye!”
When he was leaving the house, he took out the garbage and the recycling, “Awwww! Look at the Boy being all thoughtfully initia-tative n’ shit. Awwww! Thank you baby!” He smiled and went out the door.
Still working on my last Python assignment – If I don’t figure it out by the end of the week I will ask for help.
And my French – I haven’t made any progress – I can do greetings and introduce myself confidently but I don’t think I can order in a restaurant or talk about my family in the same way … “je voudrais un homme!” I am at a restaurant where men are on the menu. lmao. [is that sexists?] Is there such a thing as sex deprivation? “Les garçons sont merde!!! lmao … they probably wouldn’t find that funny.
Bonne nuit!
Wed Oct 13:
My dad broke up with his long time girlfriend of 20+ years. Do we ever think about the men in our lives being victims of domestic violence? It’s not the first thing that comes to mind is it? At first I was sad you know but, change is inevitable and dad is alright and comfortable. Most times our first thought is of what we or the person is losing with the loss of the relationship but I feel like the end of some relationships are worth celebrating no. You know what I mean! And that is all I am going to say about that. (I’m using we and our, like I know what everyone is thinking.)
Speaking of thinking …. sometimes I think I talk too much. No one has ever told me to shut up, but I wonder if my contributions are meaningful. Yes I have questions, but my questions are only for me and my curiosity and to figure out how someone is thinking, “what brought you to that conclusion?” Thinking fascinates me but no one else probably gives a shit (if you give one shit vs two shits, are more shits better or worse? Two thumbs up is better than one and five stars is better than four. But given the nature of shits, I feel like less shit would be better than more shits right?) See what I mean! Just something that popped into my head but is it worth a discussion? Do I have to let everyone know what I’m thinking about?
I am going to use our dev-project meetings to learn to be quiet … mentally and verbally. Because so what if I am curious. Is my question adding any value, especially when I know so little about our system! Questions and ideas are always sprouting, growing and branching off to sometimes dark places, but all of them aren’t worth pursuing or sharing. This is going to be easier for me to say than do because as soon as I get curious I get excited. “Ooooh! OMG!!! What if …” I will just bring to you all my irrelevant questions and you can help me figure them out. Deal? Yay!!!
Often I expect people to be up front with me because I am candid with them but I don’t think that’s how it works. Maybe most people don’t tell you how they truly feel … which sucks. We can learn lots from each other but only if we are being honest and you can be frank without being rude or mean. I think. But who know, people might be thinking I’m an asshole and I wouldn’t even know it. I don’t know if people appreciate honesty – The Boy doesn’t like it when I call him “Dré The Douche!” But at the moment, that is who you are. Of course you are not always a douche, and when you are being sarcastically funny, and thoughtful and helpful and compassionate I call you out for those things too. win-win right?
Extend but don’t overextend. A good brand is recognizable and meaningful to consumers – perhaps signifying emotional security, quality, reliability, safety, aesthetics, lifestyle identity or environmental sustainability.
Consumer familiarity can lead to faster acceptance when a company introduces a product in a new category. Ideally, a brand extension draws on and supports consumers’ existing understanding and image of the brand and its products. If a new product is too different from the brand’s existing products – for example, motorcycle manufacturer Harley-Davidson’s onetime introduction of a wine cooler – confusion may result, and the brand image may be at least temporarily tarnished.
Thing #61 of 101 Things I Learned in Business school
I am trying to imagine people who own Harleys drinking wine. When I think of motorbikes, I first think of choppers or cruisers and then I think of bike gangs and I can’t see those guys drinking wine. Once that passes, I think of racing and dirt bikes – I can imagine those riders drinking wine; the racing guys more than the dirt guys. Who says biker gang types cannot enjoy a glass of wine? Not me! But maybe if Harley made a beer cooler … lol.
I spent another half day looking for ROI scorecard templates and going down product management white paper rabbit holes. I am going to have to build this shit myself, and I gotta do it before the end of the month. And I am kinda reluctant to do it myself this time, probably stemming from the sting of the exec dashboard. Maybe I need to mourn my dashboard properly before moving on. Or I haven’t moved on because I didn’t mourn my dashboard properly. hmmmm when did I become attached to the dashboard anyway? It’s just digital paper, it is not a brand extension of me – is it? Does my dashboard signify emotional security, quality, reliability? Emotional security. Pfffft. who needs it! 😘 (👩🦱 is this an afro emoji?)
Although I want to be good at arting, I cannot forget the feeling and process of drawing – it’s very relaxing, when I just draw and forget about if/when I will get better. Last year this time, I couldn’t do what I am doing now. Often I equate progress with speed but maybe there are things you cannot speed up just as much as you shouldn’t speed them up because you lose the joy of doing the thing in the first place.
Vacuuming and washing the dishes can be relaxing as well, especially when I am not in a hurry or thinking about why the damn boys can’t pick up after themselves or wash their dishes! I vibe to my music, or the quiet or the hum of the vacuum and do my thing.
How you approach things makes a huge difference. Take a deep breath and go for it.
Tue Oct 12:
🎶 Hello my love, I heard a kiss from you. Red magic satin playing near, toooooo. All through the morning rain I gaze, the sun doesn’t shhhhhhhhine. Rainbows and waterfalls run through my mind. In the garden I see west purple shower bells and trees. Orange birds and river something dressed in green. Music I hear, so happy and loud, blue flowers echo from a cherry cloud 🎶
That song … the imagery reminds me of my Prozac induced dreams, which I don’t have enough experience to draw yet. Bring on the psychedelic functk (that’s a word – it’s music that functions to create a state of psychedeliphilia (that’s also a word 🙂 )
The second best thing about long weekends is the short week! Hee Haw Donkey Paw!!! If donkeys had paws they’d be able to climb trees and throw rocks at human beings who abuse them. DONKEY EREVOLUTION!!! – What’s that? Enough made up words for today?
I just bought myself a leather bag and I fully didn’t think about my minimalist vegan lifestyle (smh) My awareness is there, it happens way late. Come forward already!!! I will keep reading and exposing myself to that stuff, then it will become more conspicuous as I go about my life and dream about my sparsely furnished studio/bachelor lovepad.
I’m going to work on my Python code every day this week, until I fix it. I’m in the ballpark but I’m playing the wrong game. I don’t know how I feel about being close to the solution. In this case it frustrates me, but I have to remind myself to adjust perspective. I spend much time today looking for an ROI scorecard – hoping I don’t have to build one from scratch.
While I was drawing, the thought popped into my head, “What if I never get as good as I want to be?” I will continue to practice. This might be another one of my aggressive timelines. I won’t let the thought discourage me.
Zoe sneezed today. Did you know rabbits sneeze? I guess any animal can sneeze if there’s dust or something in their nose. Confirmed by Google! “sneezing happens across all species.” I feel like I should have known that. It is easy to tell when animals trust you but it is not so easy with humans I think. Ratatouille and Snow looked so cute sleeping together this morning.
I have Grandma’s Hands by Bill Withers on repeat 🙂
Mon Oct 11:
Happy Thanksgiving!
What do you give thanks for? Do you only wait for special occasions to be grateful? Sometimes I forget, like with everything else. I am generally always happy. Unless I feel shitty or I’m in rage mode (or beast mode, as my ex so delicately put it). People also hurt my feeling, although I don’t like to admit it – I used to prefer to pretend that it didn’t bother me and my dad would say I’m too sensitive.
I now believe pain is/was behind all that rage. I am sure of it. Also, frustration and other emotions. (I don’t have the emotional wheel of terror with me – you remember why I call it that right? Because acknowledging your true feeling can be terrifyingly good for you!)
I am grateful for being more aware of and admitting to my “true” feeling in the last year than I have ever been in my life! I am also happy that I no longer value certain feelings over others. Thank you, therapy lady, whose name I can’t remember and whose homework I still haven’t done.
As well, I have come to terms with and embrace my sensitive side. It’s ok to be vulnerable. If anyone said to me that a few years ago, I would have beat them with my trusty 2×4 that I carry in my pocket – it’s foldable. I whip it out like how the cops whip out their collapsible baton. Cha-Ching! Murdering people with sticks is fun! I encourage you to try it.
Would you rather get in touch with your feeling or run about killing people?
This morning I ate sugary cereal. I don’t remember it being that sweet. Then I had potato chips and went back to bed after being swallowed and regurgitated by Python, over and over for about two hours. It’s a dance that I’ve grown to love. When I woke up for the third time, I decided to feed my body something nutritious – I had lentil soup with spinach and butternut squash. I was going to add cauliflower, but I changed my mind.
I am grateful for my love of vegetables and fruits! 🙂
I drew but it’s stupid stuff. I will share the good with the bad instead of the bad alone 🙂 – I got Shudder back for October. I am going to skip Toronto After Dark this year, especially since I still don’t have my vaccine passport.
Do you have to do all your sleeping at night? I am wondering if I am actually sleep deprived
Sun Oct 10:
Oy! I’m sleepy but guess what? I am on my last assignment for course one. I feel like my approach to everything is, “oh! That’s easy!” Then I try it and turns out it’s more complicated than it looked. I’m telling you this because that is exactly how I felt when I saw the last assignment. “cake!” “Oops. Not cake!”
Maybe it’s cause I’m sleepy too, can’t see what’s obvious. Hopefully I can complete my assignment tomorrow and, if I do, I would have achieved my goal! Hip hip – yay!!!
🎶 All I do is clean up poo. Day and night. 🎶
FYI – I love how rat paws feel on my fingers. Zoe bit my big toe on my left foot (not in a bad way), then later she bit my big toe on my right foot. AND I was so focused on my assignment that she scared me when she brushed by my foot. I lost my mind – that’s the real reason why I can’t finish the homework. My mind is still roaming. AND TOO Ratatouille bit my fingers, also not in a bad way – it feels like if you were to take your thumb and index finger on your dominant hand then gently squeeze the tip of your finger on the other. It’s enough pressure to know what’s happening, or freak you out a bit, but it doesn’t hurt. No blood’s been drawn. Yet.
Sleep tight!
Sat Oct 09:
Spoke to dad for two and a half hours this morning.
First he was surprised that I answered, then he was surprised that I spoke for so long. I told him it’s because he caught me before I started doing anything. We talked about the usual; religions, the human condition, a Great Course he just finished, Your Deceptive Mind: A Scientific Guide to Critical Thinking Skills, updates on the fam, his weekend plans (Pops is partying more than me – Saturday and Sunday night.)
My social calendar has been collecting dust for several years. I wanna say months but I’d be lying. My calendar is likely moth eaten by now. Do moths eat digital paper? What would digital paper taste like? Metallic and shockingly good 🙂
Did I ever tell you my dad had a hard time saying, “I love you.” Even to me. Crazy right! But today he said it with ease. Dad’s still learning and growing 🙂 I hope you are too.
If you didn’t know before, he’s the one I get my thirst for knowledge from, and also my overeating but definitely not my overspending and overthinking.
Well (heavy sigh) looks like I was a bit too aggressive with my timeline as usual. I am still stuck on assignment 3.3. Effin’ hell! When I feel myself getting ready to say, “Python you motherfucker! What do you want from me!?!?!” I take a break.
I don’t care what time it is, when this shit runs, I’m gonna run … around the house jumping, clapping and screaming loud AF.
Sam – RE: My Python Homework
Dré put me on to a Web Toons comic thriller Unknown Caller – augmented reality is built into the comic. I screamed when I saw the ghost girl in my room. She wasn’t so scary in episode one but two, she actually comes at you, fast. and I couldn’t finish 3 … as part of the comic, my phone rang. I answered and I saw the ghost; when she started crawling towards me, I closed the app. Holy … it was fun though.
I spend a few hours dancing and creating the new grown up change request form. Now me must go to shower and take pills. Good night!
Fri Oct 08:
It’s a long weekend baaaaaaaaby!
I was trying to complete all my week five assignments before talking to you, but I am grounded again. I got past the last one I was stuck on and I ran around the house screaming for like a minute – I was so proud. The boys didn’t even come to check on me, I coulda been getting eaten by a gigantic pigtopus.
Anyway, first I was stuck on 3.1 now I am stuck on 3.3. writing the problem out really helped me get to the solution so I may have to do the same again. I will quit for today as it is past my bedtime (at 12:30 am). I have two weeks left in course 1 and plan to complete it over the weekend.
I am not doing anything for Thanksgiving this year. I already told the boys – let them eat rice. My weekend plans? Homeworks! French and Python and art, and watching horror movies and eating (non junk). I might also do some work work – I have something on my mind.
I am slowly rabbit-proofing the living room. Today they were keeping me company while I worked. People say rabbits smell but I haven’t noticed it. Hope I ‘m not nose blind, like in those Febreze commercials. When Dee comes over she can tell me.
One day I will draw for you a pigtopus.
Thu Oct 07:
Yesterday I was a little bit TOed because of the exec dashboard thing but when I woke up this morning, everything looked different.
Yes my feelings are hurt but if I didn’t do the work, I would not have realized how much I love that stuff. Using Excel and having to figure out pivot tables and charts, led me to data science, which led me to Python. The Universe knows 🙂 So … whether my boss continues with the spreadsheet or not, I am grateful. I re-learned how much I love the process of investigating and figuring things out. Utility is important to me but also beauty – lots of things are useful and beautiful like me 😀 (that’s funny but it’s not a joke – that’s also funny). Tiny little things crack me up disproportionately. (I’m still laughing).
Did I tell you the other day Dré said to me, “You’re a special kind of retarded.” I can’t remember what I was doing, but that statement likely made me do it even more.
Today I also feel like I know exactly what my personal and work priorities are. I was so clear on everything when I woke up this morning. All the “Gods” from every religion must have visited me last night. I’m so special. 🎶 I’m so special, so special, so special 🎶 And yes, you are special too.
Staying clear on what my priorities are, once I remember in the moment, will prevent me from getting distracted when something new comes along that excites me and taper my tendency to want to help people do stuff. Fuck you! Fuck that! (lmao – if you laugh the hardest at your own jokes that’s alright, we have to be able to entertain ourselves when we’re alone/unplugged).
For the next six months, my personal priorities are:
- Getting my Python certificate from UofM via Coursera
- Conversing in French
- Learning to draw.
By March or sooner, depending on the progress I make, I will readjust the list. Learning to draw will be on my list until I get a pass from Dee.
My work priorities:
- Enterprise PMO related activities (including acting as PM on projects)
- Portfolio management and by extension roadmap items
- OKRs
I’m feeling fantastic about this list yeah!
I love my life and everybody in it!
Wed Oct 06:
I’ve been awake for ~ 18 hours, as of 7:30 pm ish. I think I am most productive when I am sleep deprived. I got a lot done today. Matt and his noisy ass woke me up after 1:00 am and I just couldn’t get back to sleep – I was supposed to go in the office today, but my head and face were hurting, likely cause I didn’t sleep AND I was stressed cause I had to get up and go to the office – I sent my boss an email at like 3:00 am. Fuck …
I don’t know what happened but the melatonin didn’t work last night. I have one month to try before chatting with my doctor again on next steps. I wanna sleep like I slept before I had kids and even when Dee was little, in my late teens early twenties
I think my boss wants to get rid of the spreadsheet that I worked so hard on – like why didn’t we just buy an app in the first place, if you want an app now. That upsets me but whatever … I am not wasting my time on certain things anymore. Took me three years to learn but I’m learned. That is, until I get excited about something new and volunteer like a dumb ass to get it done. Sometimes my reality sucks but it never bites!
And fuckin’ Python is decreasing my confidence level. I was hoping I wouldn’t get stuck on anything during the first course you know, but here I am … stuck. Anyway, I’m not discouraged. I will use the weekend to go over the course material and try to get my program running – there is only the calculation that I can’t figure out, requesting inputs from user is working and converting integer to float but all I get for output is the word “total” and not the value. 🙁 to infinity.
🎶 I get so emotional baby. Every time I think of you oooooooh. I get so emotional baby. Ain’t it shocking what love can do. Ain’t it shocking what love can do. 🎶
Zoe seems to be thriving now that she doesn’t have big fat rabbits stepping all over her. Her and Archie are getting along well … they have two different personalities – he’s always bouncing and doing this crazy twisting hopping – he moves so quickly. and Zo is chill, but she’s younger so she sleeps more
Day three and the boy didn’t make it to school again. AGAIN!!! FML well … what’s next? I have no idea. None!
When life gives you good for nothing children, make …
Tue Oct 05:
Happy World Teacher’s day. I don’t have any teachers who are friends or any friends who are teachers, officially. But we all teach don’t we? Even when we don’t realize it, we’re teaching. I think we teach through our actions more than our words – we teach people how to treat us – our children learn from us – we teach ourselves 🙂
Zo is eating and pooping like a normal bunny now. She likes to eat cardboard more than her food I think, but she is definitely eating better – sometimes I have to put the food right under her nose to get her to eat, but she’s also eating more often by herself.
I am happy I could be a confidential, ventilation ear for people at work. 🎶 Joy to the world 🎶
Some guy that I don’t know is going to be in the office tomorrow – I don’t think we have to interact though, so that’s good.
Mon Oct 04:
I’m stuck on my week five Python assignment 🙁 Have to do some searching
I hate when people say, “That’s not my job!” I wanna slap them upside their clueless heads. I’ll show you what your job is you fuck! Unfortunately for me, I cannot slap and swear at my co-workers. But there’s nothing stopping me from fantasizing about it.
My So I Don’t Go Funkin’ Insane list has been created in Microsoft To Do (the list formerly known as wunder). I started using To Do because Microsoft changed how I can organize my web version of Outlook – I can actually create a board view so I can see my important items, my calendar and take quick notes via sticky OneNote notes.
I’ve dumped my brain and I feel less stressed. Woohoo!
Guess what? The boy did not go to school today. He strolls out of his room rubbing his face at like 2:30 pm, when I am wrapping up my work day, “Hey Mom!”
Today Matt asked, “Hey Google, is it raining outside?’
If I was Google: “I don’t know muthafucka! You can’t look outside!?! Ain’t you got no windows bitch!?”
Sun Oct 03:
So remember on Friday I took the boys to Big Al’s to get a second rat and Matt’s bunny. Well when I was there, Dré and I saw a tiny tan and white bunny – we both loved her but couldn’t convince Matt to get her. She was the smallest in the bunch and just so cute. For the rest of the day on Friday, I just couldn’t get this bunny off my mind. Saturday morning, Matt woke up and realized he forgot to buy the litter box. I still had tiny bunny on my mind so I decided to accompany him to the pet store.
Before leaving Dré, Matt and I had a chat about maybe getting another bunny.
Matt: Mom we don’t need anymore pets.
Mom: I know but she was so cute and tiny, I feel like I need to get her out of there
Dré: Mom are you sure you want to get the bunny.
Mom: No. BUT if she is still there I am gonna bring her home.
Well what do you know? My beautiful bunny was still there and all the big bunnies were running around and she was just chillin’ I asked them if she was sick but essentially the woman told me, it’s just because she’s the smallest one. She’s even too young, ~ six weeks, for them to know what her sex is for sure.
Now I have a bunny I fell in love with on sight and felt I needed to rescue. Her name is Chisana (tiny in Japanese). Formerly known as Zoe and Mia. I feel like she’s not eating and pooping as much as I think she should, compared to Archie but he’s older/bigger. I’m gonna take her to the vet. She’s not lethargic and she seems happy otherwise but just incase.
Actually, no one likes Chisana so Zoe it is. Now they are in the living room hopping around together. Archie poos every second and Zo doesn’t at all. Good thing all they eat is veggies.
Now I just need a unicorn a dragon, a mustang and a hippo and I will open a petting zoo in the apartment.
Sat Oct 02:
🎶 Ben the two of us we look no more. We both found what we’ve been looking for. With a friend to call my own. I’ll never be alone and you my friend will see. You’ve got a friend in me. 🎶
My laptop is acting stupid. The icons look weird. All the desktop shortcuts are double and the windows leave a trail and chunks of my taskbar is missing. I can’t even get to my other keyboard. So … I am going to shut down this bad boy and share with you tomorrow. I have a surprise 🙂
Fri Oct 01:
Yo! I think the melatonin is working. I’m still waking up just as much but last night I was back to sleep within minutes.
We now have two rats, one bunny, a bunch of fish and one snake (a ball python) OOOOOOOH … Python. We went to EAT BKK for dinner.
Good night!
