Journal Entry – Tue Dec 22

Sometimes I spell words so wrong that the spell checker doesn’t even flag the word for me. I will save up examples and share them with you. When I find myself staring at the word or coming back to it because something doesn’t seem right, I will ask Google to spell it for me!

I spent ten badrillion hours drawing a house – getting the perspective and angles right takes work, and now that I insist on finishing with the pen, it takes a bit longer. Today I learned that grid lines aren’t always helpful – they confused me. I had to turn it off and rest on my laurels (in a good way).

I look forward to drawing – I woke up from my Prozac nap (zacnap, prozeees – there’s nothing pro about them, I’m just as tired), and the first thing that popped in my head was drawing!

When I first started this job, I said I would retire from here, but I’ve said that so many times with every job, even contract work (cause I expected they’d love me so much I’d get a full-time role – don’t ask me why I felt that way). Then I go down my disillusion drain and eff things up for myself. 

Now that I am aware of my brain, I feel like I could actually retire from this company and even work after retirement – if they need me. When May 7, 2021, comes, and I hit my three-year mark, still feeling the way I do now, despite some issues (I have to remind myself that no company or person is perfect and that my mood changes my mind all the time). Then I will feel more confident. 

Right now though, it’s a great feeling to grow with the company! I feel like I’m seeing and contributing to who we are going to become.

Right now, jammin’ to classic rock Whole Lotta Love by Zeppelin and drinking sparkling wine (I’m not overdoing it, don’t worry). Whenever I hear Dee listening to music I played when she was a child, it makes me happy – The Doors, Ambrosia, Janice J., Eric Clapton, Otis R., Teddy Pendergrass, Johnny Cash, The Beatles, ever single vintage R&B and Hip Hop artist out there, The Doobie Brothers … I can go on forever!

Tomorrow I will show you my house – as things get more advanced, it may take me more than two days to finish one lesson.

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