Journal

Jun 25 – Journal Entry

Whenever I have client meetings or any meeting where I have to present, I always get nervous, and no matter how much I prepare, I never feel ready. Well, my session today was great.

We are doing some preliminary work with a client so that patients can have their dialysis treatment at home. No more going into clinics. (This stuff always reminds me how much I love the digital transformation of health care. What I am doing, matters so much more than working with banks and wealth management folks).

After my meeting, I got an image of a text chat from my boss. I won’t post the image here but it said:

Client:
We like Sam
She is smart 😍

Boss:
Yes she is 😉

She sent the texts within minutes of our meeting ending. That made my day and all my meeting anxiety worth it – And I am beginning to think that this feeling I feel of “not being ready” is just part of the process. I should just embrace it. Maybe I feel this way because I think I take too long, but … even if I had all the time in the world to get ready, I will still be nervous and feel like I need more time. It is only after the event is over that I feel like “Yes! You rocked it.” and/or “No! You could have done better on x, y, z.)

Monday, I have to present OKRs to the exec team, and a board member is going to be there – Of course, I am nervous and I am going to spend the entire weekend refining and rearranging until what comes out of my mouth feels right. Then after it’s all over, I am going to think about what I could have said or done differently. SMH.

At the same time – I am not going to shy away from the opportunities to present or public speak, because I can only get better with (frequent) practice. I should rejoin Toastmasters and get back into improv.

BTW: Talking to strangers terrifies me. I would rather snack on shards of COVID infected glass while binging on season one of Paint Drying: In Black and White than go to a networking event. But I know my co-workers and speaking in front of them scares me too. (I got issues, but it’s alright 🙂 )

A toast! To Heebie Jeebie! lol

Written: Fri Jun 26 @ 1:46 pm

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