I am gonna start at the very beginning. Julie Andrews says that’s a very good place to start … When I was a pregnant teenager, my long-time girlfriend Sharon had a friend named Kurt. Although we met when I was pregnant, he was interested in pursuing a relationship with me. Maybe he thought I needed to be taken care of, or perhaps he wanted to be my knight. I couldn’t get into him, and after my daughter was born, we drifted apart. I’d bump into him at a party every now and then.
Several years later, I get invited to Sharon’s wedding. Guess who I bump into again? Kurt! We take a few photos. We chat. We didn’t sit at the same table, but whenever he got the chance, he’d stop by to check on me. At one point, he offered to get me something from the bar.
“Sure. Thank you!”
“What do you want to drink?”
By now, my girlfriends are questioning me about Kurt. There’s really not much for me to say. He likes me. I don’t like him. He’s trying, but all these years later, I’m still not into him. Oftentimes though, I feel like I have to let guys down easy. We were at a wedding after all. I cannot be mean – I don’t want to be mean. My sister says, “Sometimes, with these men, you have to be a complete bitch. Otherwise they don’t get it, and they won’t leave you alone.”
He comes back with my drink and I’m pleasantly surprised. Later we dance. By the end of the night, we exchange numbers (don’t ask me why I didn’t say no). Maybe I thought we could be friends, you know – But all my guy “friends” tell me that men NEVER want to be friends with women, they are just waiting for their turn. Hmmm, thanks for letting me know. 🙂
The next day I spoke to him, and things just went downhill from there. He tells me about his divorce and what a good dad he is to the two children he has by the same woman. That he doesn’t have children all over the place like most black men. Are you judging me? Them? Then, the icing on the cake came when he said he’s living in his mom’s basement because he has so much alimony and child support payments to make he can’t afford to get a place of his own right now. Then a dollop of double-layer icing …
He proceeds to tell me that it’s fine that he’s living in his mom’s basement because when she dies, he is going to get the house. Ewwwwww. (now it’s possible he didn’t say it that way, but that’s what I heard.) I was so disgusted when I got off that call. If there was any doubt in my mind about getting with him, he erased it. A day or two later, he called me. I tell him I can’t talk to him. He goes apeshit – talking about:
Not understanding why don’t I want to be with a good looking light-skinned guy like him. I only want guys who mistreat me and don’t take care of their kids. he could be so good to me. He’s so good for me. We would be so good together. He ends his tirade by telling me it’s my loss. I’m ok with that!
Fast forward to 2020 – Yesterday, Apr 30, I log into POF and I see a message from Apr 29:
Good morning, how are you doing? I like your profile. Hope you and family id doing ok and staying safe.
Thank you – same to you 🙂 (I check out his profile and I’m sure I recognize his face)
So you still single
Single again – I knew you looked familiar
You know me is what you are saying? What happened to the guy you was with? What’s your name? I can’t remember
Nice to see you’re still obnoxious. Really!? You can’t remember me! I go back to his profile. Reviewing his pic, just to be sure, then proceed to tell him my name. He makes the connection.
OMG it is you, whats up with you
Ok, cool. guess you dont want to talk
We already know each other 🙂
ok, i will leave you alone.
Alone forever, thank you!
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