Journal

Apr 27 – Journal Entry

Yikes! It’s 10:00 pm – I’ve been neglecting my bedtime and drinking too much. The boys don’t understand why the liquor store gets to stay open – They don’t see alcohol as an essential service. Dummies! I’m not an alcoholic writer like Ellison in Sinister (2012). Or maybe I am, and I cannot admit it.

Whenever anyone says, “Yikes!” I think of Scooby-Doo. My friends and I would run home to watch Scooby-Doo, Transformers and Gi-Joe after school. I think He-Man and She-Ra were our weekend shows. On one of those home runs (hehe), I fell and rolled down a hill, and then I got all hivey – That’s when I figured out I was allergic to grass. I didn’ t watch TV that day.

When I did helpdesk work for IBM, this uber fat guy named Greg came to work all muddy. There was mud all over his clothes, his shoes, in his hair. Everyone in the help center was like, “Dude, what happened to you.” Calmly, he said, “I slipped and fell down the hill.” – It happened after he got off the bus and was walking to the office. That’s the only other person I know that rolled down a hill, not on purpose. 

He had to have rolled because of the distribution of mud on his clothes. When we were in the breakout room, Greg was the topic – we all shared our image of him rolling down the hill. Someone said something like, “None of this would have happened if he stayed on the sidewalk.” The whole thing was so much funnier because he was fat (don’t judge me). 

I filled out my performance report today for 2019 and 2020 – I’m coming up on two years, and this will be my first performance review. I’ve been listening to Sherlock Holmes stories when I go to bed, instead of true crime podcasts – My friends wonder how I can fall asleep to that stuff.  

It’s been a year since I was in Thailand. 

Yikes!

Feature Photo Credit: @ifoto via Twenty20

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Shawn L. Bird

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