Whenever I watch debates or lawyers do their thing, I am amazed at how quickly they come up with responses and can cite examples to support their arguments. I value quick wit, but I am not quick-witted; I would lose every debate, and all my clients would go to jail.
I also recognize that something someone says off the cuff could sound good and seem to make sense in the moment, but might not hold up to scrutiny later.
I’m already filled with anxiety, and I will crumble under the kind of immediate response pressure debates demand.
Hence, I read, do my research as objectively as I can, and then write. That way, if someone has an issue, I have time to read their comment, process it, research it, and then craft an informed, thoughtful response.
Let’s apply that to the debate format.
“I hear what you say, give me a moment to repeat it to you and write it down. I will also require some time at the Toronto Reference Library. I prefer to do my research in person; I love the smell and feel of books many people have touched before me. I will return shortly to offer a rebuttal. Feel free to televise my process.”
sam
My Televised Debate Process Scenes:
- walking off the stage
- taking the subway to Bloor Station
- walking into the library
- getting distracted by all the displays and posters for upcoming events
- oh! The Art of Paint Watching. I’m curious
- stopping to have a bite at the coffee shop in the lobby. When sufficiently satiated
- asking for help to find what I need
- shaking my head at how messy people are
- taking a break to go to the bathroom, and staying in there for a good amount of time, you wonder if I died
- collecting my books and looking for a quiet corner to read
- watching me corner discriminate; one corner may not be as good as the next
- watching me put my books down and getting angry because the heavy books are giving me hot flashes
- removing my sweater
- looking for a non-eww spot to rest my sweater
- shaking my head at how messy people are
- whipping out my fan AND fanning myself
- having to pause and put the books down again
- putting my sweater back on cause I’m suddenly freezing
- before putting my sweater back on, I must examine it for bugs and other possible contaminants
- writing down exactly what I want to say
- running out of paper because I need to say it in an exact, certain way
- asking someone to borrow some paper from their notebook
- possibly having to go buy a notebook
- writing down exactly what I want to say
- practicing tone, cadence, and inflection
- watching people get mad at me cause I’m too loud
- taking a break to look over the side
- saying, “I feel if a fire broke out, I could jump down from the fifth floor and run for the exit.”
- shaking my head at how messy people are
- walking away from the library
- taking the subway back to the debate (whatever station that is)
- walking onto the stage
Have you noticed, I’ve been changing my site. The homepage has more of my favourites, and the menu is more streamlined. I’m still trying to start a Procrastinators Anonymous group. Lol, I created that poster during one of my insomnia nights last week.
AND the best news, I am attempting to write a novel. The Troll and the Ballerina is the longest fiction piece I’ve written, that I can remember. My 5000-word essay days are long behind me and aren’t helpful in this case.
At first, my resistance spoke to me,
What! A novel. You’re no Stephen King. No Toni Morrison. How dare you! The audacity! To think that YOU can write a novel. You don’t have the attention span for it.
sam’s resistance
But I cannot let imposter syndrome, or the “I only write short things” scale anxiety, get to me. For what is a novel?
A novel is a bunch of scenes that become chapters, and I will write one scene at a time. I am ~1800 words in on chapter three. Thank you very much! 😊
I haven’t put my ballerina book on Amazon yet because AI totally crapped out on me with the drawings; I only needed two more images, and it’s been so hard. Sometimes it draws Ballet as a white girl or a rabbit, regardless of the prompt or the existing pictures I give it. Like WTF!
So I’m going back to see what I can reuse, and my plan is to order a few proofs before the end of the month. Wish me luck.
Sun Mar 15
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