Coming to you live from State 51. Formerly known as Canada and home of the new Maple Leaf Syrup Surveillance Program. That’s right, you can get syrup from the leaf. Which means way more syrup per tree.

Happy VD (lol)! Every time VD comes around, I get a kick out of saying that.

I wrote a VD poem; the words came when I sat on the toilet Thursday morning, and luckily, I had my phone with me. I popped (or pooped) open Obsidian and wrote everything down. It would have been messy if I had to get up and find my phone. Imagine that! (you can if you want to, I’m not gonna force you to.)

I will post it later instead of waiting until next week. Plus, some of my other artistic endeavours are almost done, so I will likely post those, too. Holding onto work that feels done just because of a stupid schedule doesn’t feel right to me. Then, next week I will be all out of sorts because I have nothing to post.

And also, I’d like someone to create a VD app; that way, I can inspect genitalia before … ugh! I was gonna say something about the new rules of engagement. Lost the thought. Damnit! Essentially, if your dick glows under the scrutiny of the VD app, then we can’t have sex, not even if you buy me dinner first. (As you know, I love to eat.)

This was a great, wonderful week. Dre called me retarded and immature, so I kicked him in the shins. Doing violence makes me happy.

Health Tip: If your poo is coming out like the emoji, with or without the smile, then you need more fibre in your system.

I am looking forward to the long weekend.

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Unmasking Autism

I’m not going to feel the need to apologize for my randomness ever again; I’m just gonna embrace all things ME that I do well. But I will try to make the transitions easier for you. I will also not apologize for my giddy happiness, being loud, questioning “authority” figures or other things as I learn more about myself from Unmasking Autism.

For that second to last point, I’ve been called aggressive and combative and accused of being insubordinate when all I wanted was for your dumb shit to make sense—make it make sense to me. When I ask questions in an effort to understand your stupidity or ignorance, answer them.

Also, the third to last point on needing time to figure out how I feel has never worked in personal relationships, I’ve been accused of not caring, being stoic, indifferent and insouciant (I remember that word because I had to look it up). Anyway, I don’t wish I’d held onto any of those men.

Reading Unmasking Autism is like reading my thoughts. The family that autADHDism together, stays together.

Counting Wourds:

Reciprocal tariffs. That’s three words—recip, rocial, and tariffs.

Some say this isn’t how words work, but they envy my linguistic sophisticality. After we’re done with those three words, I’m gonna do some denuking with China and Russia. That’s, um, wait. How many word are those? Uh … Where’s my Didactic Bureaucratic Word Counter?

The DT

Hey! Who Said That?

Answer: The book is Fear and Trembling by Soren Kierkegaard. It is a classic about faith, existential despair, and why breaking off an engagement makes you a philosopher. Kierkegaard walked so modern commitment-phobes could run.

A bit about his life:

SOREN AABYE KIERKEGAARD was born in Copenhagen in 1813, the youngest of seven children. His mother, his sisters and two of his brothers all died before he reached his twenty-first birthday.

Kierkegaard’s childhood was an isolated and unhappy one, clouded by the religious fervour of his father. He was educated at the strict School of Civic Virtue and went on to enter the University, where he read theology but also studied the liberal arts and science. In all, he spent seven years as a student, gaining a reputation both for his academic brilliance and for his extravagant social life. Towards the end of his university career he started to criticize the Christianity upheld by his father and to look for a new set of values.

In 1841 he broke off his engagement to Regine Olsen and devoted himself to his writing. During the next ten years he produced a flood of discourses and no fewer than twelve major philosophical essays, many of them written under a nom de plume. Notable are Either/Or: A Fragment of Life (1843), Repetition (I843), Fear and Trembling (1843), Philosophical Fragments (1844), The Concept of Anxiety (1844), Stages on Life’s Way (1845), Concluding Unscientific Postscript to the Philosophical Fragments (1846) and The Sickness unto Death (1849).

By the end of his life Kierkegaard had become an object of public ridicule and scorn, partly because of a sustained feud that he had provoked in 1846 with the satirical Danish weekly The Corsair, partly because of his repeated attacks on the Danish State Church.

Few mourned his death in November 1855, but during the early twentieth century his work enjoyed increasing acclaim and he has done much to inspire both modern Protestant theology and existentialism.

from the book’s first page

Just an FYI – To be clear, that health tip I gave you earlier has nothing to do with me being on the toilet Thursday morning. And since the poem I wrote on the toilet will be published after this, does that diminish its poetic worth or compromise its artistic integrity or somehow lessen its profundity??

Have a good VD and weekend, yes. And remember, Big Tech Maple Leaf Bro is watching you.

Fri Feb 14

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