Today I envisioned myself going to the library for about two hours before I left the house. I imagined:

  • various routes and why I might take one over the other
  • who I might meet
  • where the books I was looking for might be
  • will I take the elevator or the stairs
  • if the library would be packed
  • if any of the single rooms would be free
  • how disappointed I’d be if my book wasn’t available
  • what if I ran into some stranger who tried to small-talk me

Finally, I left the apartment, taking the stairs to the lobby. I get outside, and it is tornado-alley windy. Several times I had to stop walking and brace myself. Suddenly, I couldn’t get the thought of being blown into traffic or falling and rolling along the gross sidewalk and into traffic and getting run over by a garbage truck and stinky juices dripping all over my body.

I didn’t make it to the library, but I was proud because I tried – I went outside. Relief enveloped me when I returned to the building. Instead, I studied my transformation course material – I’d like to write the exam next week. 

Sometimes self-studying sucks – Especially with the data analytics I’m learning. I keep confusing qualitative and quantitative, even though the meaning is right at the beginning of the words. I also confuse function and formula. I know what they mean, but every time I encounter those words, it takes an extra minute to get them right – so annoying.

BTW – I have yet to make connections on Meetup – I’m a socioeconomic failure! 

Do you remember Emeril – the chef who’d say, “BAM!” when he added certain ingredients to a dish? He has a new show. Dee loved watching him and pretty much every show on the Food Network when she was little.

I hope your weekend is off to a good start. Can you believe it’s December! I’m gonna be forty-nine soon.

Sat Dec 03, 2022

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