I’ve been struggling to stay afloat. The weather is affecting my mood, and I can’t take the week off because my beautiful coworker in France is on vacation. (France is still on my list of places to go.) But I don’t know if a week off will help.
Maybe it’s not the weather, it’s just me. I’m questioning everything. Uncertain about the direction of my life. I don’t know if the projects I’m working on are worth it anymore, and I feel I haven’t written anything meaningful in weeks.
While I recognize the pattern, that doesn’t stop the thoughts. I’ve been mostly lying about and eating everything that’s bad for me. Did I ever tell you about my love affair with pizza? It has to stop.
Long ago, Dee got me a zine called, I’m Saving Myself for Pizza. lol.
It would be wonderful if I lost my appetite when I felt crappy, then I wouldn’t still be fat. Instead, I eat. BUT… good news, I gained a pound of muscle. 102.2 baby! 🥳 The other 88 is everything else.
Too bad my thoughts don’t carry any physical weight, but I wouldn’t be able to shrug them off anyway.
Yesterday I went to see Matt perform at the Nia Center in the west end. Tomorrow I’m gonna hang out with my favourite aunt’s son. He’s in town for a few days.
I must go. Obligations always suck, but they suck harder now!
Oh, the effort!
By the time my vacation week rolls around, I hope to feel better, but I’ll take the time off anyway; mentally, I need it. And a therapist.
You good?
Sun Apr 19
Photo by Jose G. Ortega Castro on Unsplash
© 2026 Ociola Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
