Apr 1 – Journal Entry

It’s way past my bedtime, but I MUST write.

Over Skype, I reminisced with my co-workers on the April Fool’s prank they played on me last year. We remember some of the details differently, but I caught the gist, so I don’t plan to change the post. Authenticity is essential, but what if your memories inadvertently prevent it? It’s too late to tackle that question. Good news is, I shared the post with them and they found it funny – That also matters to me. Feel free to read it https://wp.me/pb6hvp-7U

Started rearranging my balcony in preparation for working outside, especially when needing a change of scenery. I was more productive in the evening than I was during the day. The stuff I’m reading for work is dense – cost management and benefits realization, I think it’s bringing me down 😒

I spent some time on POF – Robocop is still bugging me about trying again. I told him about what I remember on how we ended; he remembers it differently, but I don’t care – NOT! GOING! BACK!

My mom used to tell me that as I get older, I am going to want someone to spend my life with, but if I wait too long, I won’t be able to find anyone because I will be too old and no one will want me, but I don’t care – NOT! GOING! TO SETTLE!

Fear of being alone cannot be the overarching factor that drives me. I am going to apply business rules to my future potential relationships by always asking, “what’s in it for me?” “Is this going to be a mutually beneficial partnership?” Today a POF prospect asked me about my longest relationship – I said:

My relationships don’t last long – two years max. Why!? Sometimes it’s because I change my mind. Sometimes it’s because I get bored. Most times, it’s because I just feel like I don’t need it. I don’t need the drama and/or the stress that may come along with a relationship. My preference is to walk away. Maybe if I’d put more effort into some of them, but when I look back, I have no regrets. I don’t feel worse off. I don’t ponder what might have been. I don’t wish I was still with any of them. In hindsight, I think I made the right decision every time.

Yeah that’s right.

I will wrap this up on an even better note with a text to my daughter:

I think you are a phenomenal human being. I hope you wake up every morning feeling proud of yourself and your accomplishments!

Tell someone how you feel about them just because.

There’s always something to celebrate – find your thing! 🙂