DISCLAIMER: You might not like this post.

I’ve been away for a while cause I started gambling — those commercials were just too good to resist. Bet365, the guy running with the refrigerator, I was like, OMG, if I bet 365 days a year, I can also be strong enough to run a marathon with a fridge strapped to my back.

But Play Ojo was the tipping point, with the people dancing and dressed up like a mop, a gorilla and a card deck. By the way, I’m doing all my creative and professional work from Fallsview from now on. The more I lose, the more perks I get. Isn’t that fantastic!

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Last week, I went to work for two days without showering cause there was no hot water. This building! Guess the landlord decided hot water is so 90s, or it’s bad for the environment. It doesn’t matter if I shower anyway; the stink of crushed hope and debt is always on me. I can’t afford to live anywhere else, especially with these adult children I still carry.

My Escape Plan: Sponsored by Bad Decisions

One day, I’m gonna move out in the middle of the night and not tell anyone where I’m going. Just me, my books and a shitload of debt. Romantic, right? Casinos have good security. I can see them welcoming me at first …

Once all my money is gone, I suspect they will kick me out. My plan after that is to hurt somebody and go to jail. For sure, then I will lose weight. AND I heard they always have hot water, and the best water pressure. I’m gonna scheme and claim to be a trans-man to get into a men’s prison when I’m convicted; I don’t mind being raped. Seems it’s the only way I’ll ever have sex again anyway.

Nothing says ‘self-care’ like a structured environment, a predictable schedule and mandatory play/yard time. Go. Go. Go. Why aren’t more unhoused people institutionalized?

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I can do a farmer’s walk for 30 seconds with a 28-lb trap bar and 2 x 45-lb weight plates. That’s 200 lbs, lol. I’m practicing for having to carry my children the rest of my life. (heavy sigh)

Sun Apr 27

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