Yo! Breakdancing was in the Olympics and they didn’t show it live on network TV AND a Canadian won.
Question of the day: Do earthquakes happen when Atlas shrugs? (we may never know.)
I just saw an Uber teen account commercial, it is sooooo dramatic for no reason. Some kid left school because he was playing a sport and got cut. While in the Uber, he and his mom are texting and she says, “I’ll be here when you get home (blue heart).” Shut the fuck up!
First of all … that fucker looks just fine. If you could see him, you’d agree with me. You’re playing a sport you little bitch, cuts and bruises happen. If I had set up an Uber teen account for these guys, I’d tell them, “Y’all motherfuckers better call me before you open that app!” …
“Mom! Can I Uber home?”
“Why!”
“I got cut.”
“Cut where?”
“On my leg.”
“Do you need to call an ambulance?”
“No.”
“Then take the bus home.”
“Mom! What’s the point of this teen account if we can never use it!”
“Watch your tone boy! It’s for emergencies.”
“This is an emergency.”
“No it ain’t Niglet! All this time we been talking you coulda been on your way home already.”
“I’m taking the Uber Mom cause I feel nauseous too.”
“You better take that Uber to where I can’t find you muthafucka.”
The strangest dream had I – I was smoking a cigar and when it went out, I tried to light it, but in the process, it got stuck to my tongue, and my tongue started burning. I made it to the sink before my mouth caught fire, and then the cigar went limp and the dried leaves were falling out of it in little burnt pieces. Then my tongue fell out of my mouth then one by one my teeth. Then I woke up.
I’m sick. I hope you are well.
Thu Aug 15
Photo by LaShawn Dobbs on Unsplash
© 2024 Samantha Williams. All Rights Reserved.
