Over Moisturization

You wanna hear a joke?

— Joke start —

Thought I did a great job packing my bags. Then I got to baggage check.

— Joke end —

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At some point, I musta got tired of trying to pack efficiently, didn’t realize it, and started throwing airline regulations to the wind. 

• Body lotion, 562 ml? Bingo!
• Skin cleanser, 473 ml? Moula!
• Hair moisturizer, 250 ml? Eeek!
• Hair conditioner, 384 ml? Bang a gong!
• Hair moisturizer #2, 251 ml? Get it on!

And why do I need two hair moisturizers? Because one day, I might feel like using one, and on another day, I may want to use the other!

“Mam. You can’t take this on the plane. It’s 562 ml.” He removes the bottle of lotion from my suitcase and rests it on the counter. But first, he has to hold it up in the air and turn it around like he’s some product model on the shopping channel. “Neither this. At 473 ml. Either you leave it with someone, throw it out, or pay to check your bag!”

Sir! Your English is not well! You gave me a “neither” without a “nor.” And you may have used “either” correctly but I am not sure at the moment because you’ve confused me by putting all my stuff on display (and who am I to be judgy?). WTF! Aren’t you checking my bag now? And what am I paying extra for?! Privacy! 

“I’ll check my bag!”

“Great idea!”

Shut your bad English mouth! And I know that ain’t yr second language! Do I look like MacGyver bitch? I can’t do crazy shit with this shit! UG fuckin’ H! I spent a few minutes repacking to place all my over 100 ml things in the suitcase? Awesome!  

And then … Since the machine wouldn’t take debit, I had to buy a pre-paid Visa, which cost me an extra 9$, cause I left my card at home (for reasons I shouldn’t have to explain). And in case I didn’t mention it, I have my card back because I had to ask Dee for my CC to rent a car when Dad came.

While dad listened to various tunes, everything from jazz to hip-hop to reggae, I spent most of the morning rethinking and repacking AGAIN! Why are all the cords AND adapters for all my devices in here? You guys can’t share!?!?! Idiots! 

Sun Jun 05, 2022